Learning to set boundaries starts with energy management!

How do you manage your energy? I asked my clients that recently, and we talked about how most of us view managing our energy as controlling it or controlling what affects it. Either way, it boiled down to control.

The problem with managing our energy through control is that it is exhausting!

Instead of supporting our energy, it depletes our energy. And I don’t know about you, but I need to stop depleting my energy so I have more of it to create the things that matter.

This is one of the biggest challenges that many of my clients face: how to have enough energy for the things that matter.

And guess what, learning to set boundaries starts with learning to manage our energy. 

So many women are approaching burnout. Or on the other side of the coin, they have given up having their biggest goals and dreams to avoid burnout.

Either way, they aren’t creating both success and a balance of energy. But this is totally possible and it is one of the main reasons I focus on personal energy management in all the work I do with women.

It starts with recognizing the value of our energy.

When we recognize the value of our energy, we are willing to set more boundaries to protect it.

Our energy is the single greatest commodity in our life, work, or business. It isn’t money or time. It isn’t our service or even our genius. Those things are all connected to our energy, but our energy is everything.

When we have the energy to put into our big goals, we create them. When we are constantly depleted of energy, we struggle to create anything at all.

People are also attracted to your energy!

In business, your potential clients feel you consciously or unconsciously and it attracts or repels them to your brand, service or product.

If you are depleted all the time, what do you think that communicates? It can sabotage trust and make potential customers question if you have the space to hold them.

When you feel excited with your work & life or when your energy is grounded and full, what do you think that communicates to others? It brings the right people into your life.

Not setting boundaries in our lives, relationships or work depletes an exponential amount of our energy. 

Often we look at energy depletion as too much action or too much to do, but in truth, it is the quality of the energy we are using, not the quantity.

When we are not setting boundaries, we are depleting more energy because it is either taking more from us than we want (creating resistance or resentment) or we are giving more than we want (creating resistance or resentment).

Resistance or resentment attached to our energy is like a heavy weight. It makes every action harder.

I like to view managing our energy as “caring for” it, not controlling it. 

Controlling it just depletes it, but caring for our energy means we are building up our reserves. We are honoring how valuable our energy is.

We are giving ourselves what WE NEED to have energy, which might be different than what someone else needs.

Giving ourselves permission to have what WE NEED and letting go of what everyone else needs is a huge part of learning to set boundaries.

I know for myself it took decades for me to honor the way I need to restore my energy. 

I need a ton of space. Like literally, days of space every week, every month, every year. Without this space, I am always running on empty.

I heard the world tell me I was selfish for wanting space, that I was lazy, that I was not good enough. So there were a lot of voices inside of me that I had to still.

But now, I know the value of caring for my energy and I make this a priority in my business.

Every month, I block out “space” first and then I fill in the rest of my schedule. This space is how I care for my energy.

What do YOU NEED to care for yours? 

Deciding this and honoring it will be the most important steps you take in learning to set boundaries.

Flip the switch this week and try it out. Ask yourself what you need to do right now to care for your energy. And then do it!

It will really transform your life and your business.

But for today, if you only take one thing away from this post, I hope it is the recognition of how valuable your energy is and that there is a different way to frame how you manage it.

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About Sonya Stattmann

Sonya spent the last 21 years helping thousands of leaders create more ease, alignment & success in their lives, work & business. Her personal development & leadership programs offer individuals permanent & lasting transformation that has a ripple effect on all areas of their lives. Her corporate speaking & leadership workshops transform organizations. She has two podcasts and a TEDx talk called Moving Beyond #Empowerment. She is currently traveling around the world with her husband and two children.

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