Meet Co-host Emily Soccorsy | Emotions, Branding & Beliefs

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Helping someone to connect to their emotions

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or to reconnect to themselves.

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There's nothing more important than that, right?

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Like, and the seeds that we plan in all the different ways, they're so powerful.

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Right.

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And I think sometimes what we've been taught and particularly

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women, you know, we think we have to make such a huge impact.

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We have to affect the millions.

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We have to like reach everybody, but it, the power is in the seats, right?

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The power.

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In the little ways that we touch people, where they have more self

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awareness, they have more connection it's even in our vibration and presence.

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Like when we have awareness and we enter into someone's vibrational

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field, they feel more awareness like it's this, there's so much

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profoundness in the way we're able to touch people in such simple ways.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:00:46

Yes.

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powerful.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:00:48

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:00:48

It's it's like how you behave in a conversation or one of

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my favorite things to do.

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I learned this from a friend of mine who, who said it to me and I was

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like, oh my gosh, I'm using that.

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is if you have a friend who's kind of getting down on themselves or being

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critical of themselves, even in just like in an offhand comment, I try to

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say, don't talk about my friend that way.

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I had, it said to me, it brought me up short and I was like, wow.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:01:09

Okay.

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If you know there is something deep inside of you

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that is yearning to be seen, to be known and to have expression.

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If there's something you need to reclaim and remember; maybe it's your

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power or your purpose, your gifts.

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This is the podcast for you.

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Welcome to reclaiming ourselves.

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I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing

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co-hosts Laura Shook-Guzman Belinda Haan And Emily Soccorsy here with me

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on this journey to self discovery every week, we're gonna help you unravel

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and remember what it means to reclaim yourself to own who you are to recognize

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your innate worth and greatness.

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Now, this podcast is a deep dive into self-development healing and empowerment.

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So hold on.

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Here we go.

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Just a quick note.

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Before we dive into today's episode, these initial episodes

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are introduction episodes.

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One of the reasons I chose to have co-hosts instead of guests, was

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to give you the opportunity to get to know us and to spend the topic

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episodes talking about the topics.

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So today's special episode is a deep dive into one of the co-hosts stories.

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It's gonna give you context for why we are here and what we

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have to contribute this season.

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Enjoy getting to know us.

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Thank you for listening.

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And if you wanna learn more, be sure to visit reclaimingourselvespodcast.com

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Hey, welcome back to reclaiming ourselves.

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I'm so excited today because I get to introduce one of our co-hosts

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Emily, and I think that you are gonna love her as much as I do, and I'm

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really excited for her to share her story and just more about her self.

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And so, hi, Emily.

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Welcome.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:03:06

Hi, Sonia.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:03:07

I'm so happy to be here with.

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I'm so happy to be here as well with you.

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So I thought I always kind of, with these introduction episodes, like to start with

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the basics, cuz everyone kind of wants to know, you know, that basic information.

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Where do you live?

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Do you have a kid, a partner?

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You know, tell us a little bit about where you are right now.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:03:28

Yeah, sure.

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So I live in Scottsdale, Arizona.

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So in the Phoenix area and yes, I have a partner of 20 years.

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We just hit our 20th anniversary.

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I think we've been together for 24 years.

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He was telling me the other day and I don't do I'm.

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Don't do great with sequential, like years and like pointing fingers at what year it

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was, but he assured me that's what it was.

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And then I have, we have two daughters together and they're 19 and 15, so

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it's a very female dominated household.

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However, my husband is.

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I have a beautiful blend of masculine and feminine, and we have

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a lot of sports on all the time.

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So I think it kind of balances the energy pretty well.

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And he is outnumbered sometimes, but we try to make him feel comfortable.

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It's the same in our household.

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I totally get that.

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That's so beautiful.

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And man teenagers, right?

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Two teens.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:04:23

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:04:23

It's very, you know, it's nice on this side of.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:04:27

Uh, On this side of it, what I found that was the most challenging of the

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teen years was like 11 and a half to.

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so that's holding that held true with the first, the second feels

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like, you know, she's, she's on the down slide of like the challenge.

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But still, I think once they get a little bit more freedom in terms of driver's

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license, where we live, that's when she can go out and drive, that really seemed

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to change the dynamic a little bit.

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So if you're in that space, if one of our listeners is in that

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space, like it, it will get better.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:04:59

I feel you deep breaths.

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I know how it feels to be like the dumbest person in the world, according

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:05

and the most embarrassing human being according to your children.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:09

So I feel you

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Parenting is so hard.

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I'm sure we'll talk about that lot on those podcasts, but you know, it

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is like it's the hardest job in the world, the most rewarding, but the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:19

it is.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:20

I completely agree and teaches you the most about yourself in my.

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It absolutely does.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:26

Like hard lessons.

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Yeah.

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really hard lessons.

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Well, and then while we're here, why don't we talk a little bit about,

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you know, your work, maybe, maybe your background, how you kind of

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came to be where you are today?

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I think that's such a great start to kind of dive into what

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you've been doing all these

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:44

Sure.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:45

Yeah, sure.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:05:46

So I'll bookmark where I am today.

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So today I'm the co-founder and CEO of root and river, and

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we're a brand strategy team.

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So I lead that team and provide brand strategy messaging languaging, but

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really we dive into the soul of a brand and brands are really how other

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people experience, what you believe.

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And so we help dig into what we call the soil of soul and extract

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all the goodness and then refine it into beautiful evocative language.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:06:14

So that's where I sit today in my career.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:06:16

I'm 45 and I've started my career initially as an English teacher in Japan.

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And that was my first job after college.

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And that only lasted a year

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we can we can go into that.

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it?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:06:32

No, I didn't.

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I struggled.

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It was a challenging year.

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It was a growthful year.

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It was a richer, but it was not necessarily fun.

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It was really challenging, but I learned so much.

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So that's why I started my career.

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And then I came back to the states.

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When I returned to the states, I was a journal.

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I became a journalist and I was a journalist for eight and a half years.

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And love that.

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So I started as a cover reporter covering education and then worked

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my way all the way up to a publisher of a group of community, weekly

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newspapers here in the Phoenix area.

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And then in between that I've done everything.

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Everything has always been language and kind of strategy related.

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So I've done PR I've done ghost writing, I've done social media

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strategy and management and every kind of form of content.

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I've.

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Put my fingers on and in.

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And I really feel like I've been a writer my whole life

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just in different iterations.

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I love that.

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And you know, what's so great about podcasting too.

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Is it in, in a way translates that, right?

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Like we're

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able to express ourselves, you know, in the same way that we express our writing.

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Cuz I feel like I've been a writer.

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Most of my.

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Well we're able to do that in a little bit of a different way, but it's,

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it's still a, a similar expression.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:07:44

Yeah, it's all about telling stories.

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And I often say like when I was a journalist, I really learned everything.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:07:51

Like the, I feel like that was the formation of my career and my my work.

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My vocation or vocation was to learn how to listen, ask good questions, look at

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a story from all different parts, and then hold that incredible responsibility

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of telling somebody else's story.

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For them.

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And that was pretty formative um, terrifying at moments.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:08:19

And, you know, I had often had people, you know, yelling at me as the editor for this

Emily Soccorsy: 00:08:25

story or that story that they didn't like.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:08:26

But I really, that I, I felt like that that timeframe really give me,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:08:30

gave me kind of all the tools that he needed to, to do what I am today and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:08:34

served me well at various points in my.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:08:37

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:08:37

And you know, that's actually one of the reasons why I'm so excited to have

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you on this podcast, because I feel like you really are so good at asking

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good questions, pulling on threads.

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Offering different perspectives.

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And I think it's gonna be so rich for the podcast to have your voice and your

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perspective, cuz you just have you're so wise, but you also pull out these very

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honest and real answers and questions.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:09:05

So I'm really looking forward to, to all that, that offers a season.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:08

Yeah, thank you.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:10

I love any opportunity to ask that provoking questions

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:13

and engage conversation.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:14

So I'm glad to have the opportunity,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:09:18

Yeah, I love that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:09:18

So tell me a little bit more about you.

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Like, if you were to describe yourself, what are some of maybe

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this two to three adjectives that you might use to describe yourself?

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Or, you know, how would you kind of share with the audience

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who you fundamentally are?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:33

Hmm, such a great question.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:35

I think the first adjective and I I've written about this in the past that

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:39

it was not meant positively when it was first applied to me was emotional

Sonya Stattmann: 00:09:44

Mmm.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:45

It is a positive word to me and I'm working.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:49

Giving it a positive connotation in the broader discussion, but I'm definitely,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:55

I live life the way I describe it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:56

I live life emotions first.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:09:58

Some people might describe that as an empath, but I, I see

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it a little bit differently.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:02

I definitely empathize deeply with people, but I live life.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:06

My first impression is always emotional and then in, in intuitive.

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And so.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:13

As a friend told me the other day, as I was sitting in her car crying about

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:15

something she turned to me and said, wow, you can access your emotions so readily.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:22

And she was really like that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:24

I'm in awe of that because I have to work so hard to even figure out how I feel.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:29

And so Yeah, so emotional is definitely one of those words

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:33

I would use to describe myself.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:34

Creative would be another, as long as I can remember being alive.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:38

I have always created worlds and stories and paper dolls when I was a

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kid, but not just paper dolls, but.

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Paper dolls that lived in a town and that had these intersecting

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storylines and it was very in depth.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:54

I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was younger.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:10:57

I became like a self-taught artist, so that would definitely be another word.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:03

And I think that third word I would use, I think it goes to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:08

something around being very driven.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:12

Or my name, my daughter's doing a project at school about what her name means.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:15

And she's really mad because her name means a leader of the elves.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:19

And she's like, , that's really terrible.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:11:22

I love that I wanna be leader of the ELs.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:24

No, I was like, I think that's awesome.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:26

I think it's actually ruler of the elves, but she refuses to use that language.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:30

It's one or the other she doesn't want to use So we were

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:32

talking about what our names mean recently, and mine means indust.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:36

And I, as, as long as I can remember, I've been very diligent

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:40

and industrious and sort of driven.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:43

I'm not gonna win the race as far as speed, but I will

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:46

doggedly pursue something.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:49

And so that's my, my form of being driven.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:52

And I think that's important, you know, when it comes to reclaiming

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:55

ourselves and the labels that other people put on us, you know, some of

Emily Soccorsy: 00:11:58

these, I definitely feel these three adjectives describe me, but they've also.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:01

Ascribed to me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:04

And being driven can mean one thing, but for I've learned that for me,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:07

it means that persistent, steady pursuit of something, it doesn't

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:12

mean, you know, grind all night.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:14

I'll, you know, that's not what I mean.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:12:15

It's like no, a lock in, and then it make progress, steadily something.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:20

Absolutely.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:21

And I think, you know, often reclaiming ourselves is about like relabeling

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:26

or, re owning, reclaiming the labels, even that other people have put on us

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:32

to define them in our own ways to look at how they, you know, kind of match

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:37

who we are or don't match who we are.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:39

Like, I think, you know, it's an interesting part of the

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:41

journey to kind of look at.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:43

What really does fit us.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:45

And how would we describe, I mean, I do so often when I'm

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:49

teaching or talking, I'm looking at definitions, what is the definition?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:53

How would I describe the definition versus maybe how the dictionary

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:57

does or how someone else labels it?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:12:59

And I love how you kind of shared that these are three things that you've

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:03

reclaimed, you know, and these are kind of your definitions of those things.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:07

And, you know, I love them.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:09

They're all.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:09

Oh, thank you.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:10

I think, I think it's really true.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:11

And I think that takes a lot of time and knowing yourself and because

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:15

I hated being called emotional that was definitely in my family.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:19

It was not, it wasn't mean, but it was like, that's something Emily

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:23

that, you know, you need to correct.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:25

That's what I heard.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:25

That's the way I heard it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:27

And it took me a very long time to really realize that that was a

Emily Soccorsy: 00:13:31

power of mine and ability of mine.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:33

Yeah, well, and you know, I think that's very

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:36

welcomed here on this podcast.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:38

Like all, all of us, all of the co-hosts, we're all very emotional beings.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:42

I think we really resonate with that level of expression and power and.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:48

And I think it's where we're going as a world too.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:51

I mean, I know I'm teaching so much more about emotional intelligence, even in

Sonya Stattmann: 00:13:55

corporates and, you know, people are starting to recognize that we do have

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:00

to understand our emotions and we do have to connect to them to find joy and

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:05

define connection and collaboration.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:07

I mean, all of the things we want in our lives.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:09

Connected to that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:11

And I think a lot of people have not accessed that power

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:15

Hmm.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:15

inside themselves.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:16

And just like you were talking about with your friend, it's, you

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:18

know, it's difficult to access.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:14:19

So it really is a gift to be able to, to access that

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:23

It is.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:23

It is.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:24

And I agree with you.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:24

I think the world is moving that way and there's, there's so much to learn.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:28

We're all emotional beings.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:30

And so it's sad that it's been relegated to something less

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:34

important and mainstream Western culture in particular, I think, but.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:38

And we've sort of been told that we can only be angry and like outrage,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:43

especially right now, there's like this over flooding of outrage and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:47

anger and, you know, indignation.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:49

And so those are just a few of the many, many emotions that

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:53

we're all actually feeling or not feeling, trying to avoid feeling.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:14:58

So the more we can become.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:15:01

More conversant in, in the language of emotion, the better we'll be able

Emily Soccorsy: 00:15:05

to be just at acknowledging them and ourselves and other, other people.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:11

I completely agree.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:12

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:13

So I wanna talk a little bit about maybe your journey, right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:17

You know, not just your work journey, which we've kind

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:19

of briefly touched on, but.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:21

You know, your life journey, you know, one of the things about kind

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:24

of this journey to reclaim ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:25

And I think, you know, we're all gonna be talking about our

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:28

experience with this topic, right?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:30

Not just share what we've learned from people that we've worked with

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:33

and what we've learned in our careers, but also like our own journeys.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:37

You know, what would you say is maybe two or three kind of pivotal moments in

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:41

your life that, you know, moments where you reclaimed yourself, you remembered

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:45

who you were, maybe that really shifted your relationship with yourself, you

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:51

know, what were those moments and, and what did, what did they feel like?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:54

Because sometimes I think when we're talking about this topic of

Sonya Stattmann: 00:15:57

reclaiming ourselves, We people are asking, but what does that feel like?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:16:02

Right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:16:02

What does it feel like to reclaim ourselves?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:16:04

How can I notice when that happens?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:16:06

What, what were some of your experiences?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:08

And since, you know, I've been invited into this space and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:12

this idea of reclaiming ourselves, I've really been thinking a lot

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:16

about my own journey in, in that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:19

And I think the moments that come to mind, I found this little red thread,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:24

as I like to say through them, their moments of breaking down dissolution.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:33

as well as revelation.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:38

They're like the same moment.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:40

So I think part of reclaiming ourselves is not, it's not just like the, oh, I get it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:47

That's who I'm supposed to be and where I'm supposed to go.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:49

It's a.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:51

Burning away.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:51

It's a death.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:52

It's a grief.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:53

It's a bottom of the well looking up moment.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:16:59

So one of those moments for me, we already sort of touched on it a little

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:03

bit, was coming back from Japan after I had gone abroad and I was dis kind

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:10

of destroyed by the experience for a lot of for a lot of different reasons.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:14

it shook me to my core and I lost hold of myself.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:20

And I came back in my memory, like kind of a shell, kind of a broken shell.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:24

I was meant to stay actually for 12 months.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:25

I stayed for 10 because I had to get home for my mental health.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:29

I had to leave.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:30

And.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:32

At that moment, I didn't know what I was going to do.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:35

I didn't know I was gonna be an end up in journalism.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:38

I had a communication degree, which meant I could do anything and also meant

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:41

like, I have no idea what I'm gonna do.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:44

I have, yeah, in my mind, I had failed.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:48

I had studied abroad in college and so I thought this would be

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:50

like another like awesome moment.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:53

And like, I'd figure out so many things and it felt like I had

Emily Soccorsy: 00:17:58

just failed and at the same time.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:01

So that was sort of the sinking, the rising was this sense that became more

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:06

clear once my kind of diligence and a lot of love and support from my family and my

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:11

partner at the time who we were dating.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:14

this rising sense that I could reinvent myself, but not reinvent.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:20

That's the incorrect word that I could pull myself back together and take

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:27

on a new challenge and not, I think part of the reason why I went to Japan

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:32

was like, I had something to prove.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:34

Right.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:35

Sort of laying back into this idea that maybe my next move didn't

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:38

have to be proving anything.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:39

It could just be being in that a cushion of, of love, surrounded

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:44

by family and friends and doing intuitively what felt right.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:48

I had no reason to get my first journalism job.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:51

Like I said, I didn't have a degree in it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:53

I hadn't worked for the school newspaper at, at university.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:18:57

Basically when I got the interview, I like created a newsletter about my family

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:03

and that would cuz they said bring clips.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:05

And I was like, I have no clips.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:07

So I invented something and I, I like brought like at a lot of Moxi

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:11

I brought it to the interview and.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:19:13

I love it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:15

I was like, okay, here we go.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:17

And I got hired.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:18

And my first day on the job, I got an assignment to cover this, this,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:21

I think it was the city council meeting or school board meeting.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:24

And I went to the veteran reporter in the newsroom and I was like,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:28

Hey, Brian so just a quick question.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:30

Could you give me just like a very high level sketch of like, how to do this job?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:19:37

oh

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:37

Because I had literally no idea what I was doing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:40

And he looked at me like, who the heck is this?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:44

And I can't believe this cuz he was like a hearted journalist and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:47

then I saw his, he had pity on me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:49

And so thank you to Brian.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:52

But that, so I just, I don't know.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:54

There's this moment of like I knew I could do it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:19:56

Something inside of me was like, I know I can do.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:00

And I don't know at all how I'm gonna do it, but I feel

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:03

like this is the right path.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:04

So I think there's a reconnection to intuition in that moment.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:08

So that's one of them.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:09

Do you feel like in Japan it was just like being

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:13

in a completely new environment?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:15

Or what do you think that really caused that sort of disconnection

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:19

to yourself in the first place?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:20

What would you

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:21

mm-hmm

Sonya Stattmann: 00:20:21

thread of that?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:23

well, I think I was disconnected from the get

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:25

go um, graduated from college.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:27

It was just, I don't know, it was very disorienting.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:30

I'm a lot.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:32

I'm a really good student.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:34

and I love the structure and I was suddenly for the first time in

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:39

my life without that scaffolding.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:42

So I think that was part of it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:43

And then I knew nothing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:46

About Japanese culture.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:47

I knew no Japanese language.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:50

I was so naive, dumb, full of hubris.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:20:55

And so even though they had a really great training program, I was also

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:00

placed in a city four hours north of Tokyo by the Shinhan by the bullet

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:04

trade in a very rural mountain town.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:07

And.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:08

Placed in teachers housing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:10

So I had a pit toilet, so I didn't have a flushing toilet.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:13

There was no central heat, and this is on a parallel with like Washington DC.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:17

So the weather was cold snowy.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:20

And I was team teaching in this high school with Japanese men, teachers of

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:25

English, and I was sort of a novelty and.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:31

I was ex in some cases, in most cases, expected to walk

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:35

behind those teachers as men.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:21:38

interesting.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:39

the culture was so different.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:41

I was unprepared for it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:42

I was a 22 year old PIP squeak with going from like big city to this role space.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:48

And my family was going through some challenges at.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:52

I had just started dating my husband a month before I left.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:56

So it was sort of a perfect storm.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:21:57

And ultimately it was like, I was, I was also in a fishbowl, so I was the town

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:02

celebrity being a guy, Jen, a foreigner.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:05

And so when I went to the grocery store, people would follow me around

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:08

to see what I would put in my basket.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:10

And at first it's funny.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:11

And then you're like back off, I had a stalker when I was there.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:15

Like it was , there was a lot, it was a lot.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:18

And I just.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:20

. Yeah, I just slowly, the only thing that I had was my writing and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:25

credit to my amazing mother-in-law.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:27

She used to tape . She used to tape episodes of touched by an angel and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:33

on a VHS and mail them to me, cuz I couldn't even watch Japanese television.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:38

So I had a VHS and I had touched by an angel and I had

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:41

my writing and that's how I.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:44

And I had some, I did have some friends there, but I think it just kind of

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:47

broke down my old comfort support systems in all the ways and broke down

Emily Soccorsy: 00:22:53

my context and I just kind of eroded.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:22:57

look, and I love the way you kind of pulled this

Sonya Stattmann: 00:22:59

first pivotal moment, or, you know, as an example, because I think, you

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:04

know, what you said earlier really resonated with me this idea that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:08

When we're trying to prove ourselves when there's like this proving ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:12

And we finally let go of that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:14

I think that is such an important piece of reclaiming ourselves because in, and

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:18

I love your perspective on this, but because one of the things I've really

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:21

seen in this process, right, as we're reclaiming ourselves, as we're, we're

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:25

understanding who we are, you know, the.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:28

Greatness of our innate self.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:31

It, it really requires us to let go of trying to prove things to others.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:35

It requires us to let go of what others think, what others want.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:40

And, and so what was, do you agree with that kind of

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:43

statement that that was part of

Sonya Stattmann: 00:23:44

the process?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:23:47

Yeah, definitely.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:23:48

I think.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:23:50

I'm a person who sets pretty high standards for myself.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:23:53

I, and I see that as the same thing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:23:55

It's like in the last several years, as I feel like I've made more progress towards

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:00

reclaiming myself as sort of letting go of those, not letting go understanding

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:09

the unconscious standards, the standards, again, ascribed to me by society.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:14

And.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:15

Releasing the idea of I have to do this, or I have to fulfill this role.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:21

it's so challenging because I think for much of my life so far, I've had kind

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:28

of blinders onto what those even were.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:31

So.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:33

I think you just need to be broken down.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:35

Like, I don't think you can.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:37

I don't think you learn those through success and ease, and you learn about

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:44

the falseness of them by like running up against them and having them

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:48

shatter or, or standing on top of them.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:51

Cuz you made it and having the ground fall.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:55

Beneath you.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:24:55

I mean, other pivotal moments have been when I've had great success and I'm

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:00

like, but it doesn't have meaning for me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:02

And I thought I was following this path that I would have meaning, and that's

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:07

almost just as disconcerting, but I think it goes to, you know, pushing away from

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:12

what you have to prove or what you have to live up to, or the standards that you set.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:17

Because somewhere along the line, that's what was ingrained

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:21

as desirable or fulfilling or.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:24

Required of you as a, as a woman or as a, as a person in

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:28

the 21st, 20th, 21st century.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:30

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:31

Yeah, for sure.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:32

I so agree.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:32

And so what was maybe one of those other pivotal moments that

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:36

you can share with us that helped you to kind of reclaim yourself?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:39

And I do agree that there there's usually a breakdown or a burning or

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:46

like something that happens before we embrace that power and that

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:51

ownership of reclaiming ourselves.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:53

Well, thanks for saying that because like note to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:55

listeners, , that's another sad story.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:25:58

Yeah,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:25:59

yeah, for me it Al it just kind of always is.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:01

So I lost my mom 10 years ago, 11 years ago now to pancreatic cancer.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:06

And I often say like, , the moment my mom died, a new version of me was born.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:14

so in the moment that she died I was with her, we were very close.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:18

She was like my best friend.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:21

I felt an energetic shift in me and our connection

Sonya Stattmann: 00:26:26

Mm,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:27

and I felt sort of a download of creative energy.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:31

and at the same time I was devastated, literally devastated.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:36

She was 62 years old, young and healthy, healthy her whole life,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:41

not an ill person at all in any way.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:43

So it was extremely jarring.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:44

The center of our family of a very big family.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:48

And I also had this and I don't look back cuz you never want it to happen.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:53

But I do recall that time.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:55

I had this clarity.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:26:57

Like I remember a friend driving me home from my parents' house and just

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:02

looking around knowing, you know, seeing everything that was happening and knowing

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:05

that, that none of it was significant that what was significant was, was simply love.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:12

And it was just this crystal clarity.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:18

And I often meditate back to that knowing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:23

when I feel myself getting caught up in comparison in the rat race.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:30

in presentation or promotion.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:32

I, I kind of go back to that and I just go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:35

And I feel it in my body, you asked earlier, like, I think this was

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:38

a great question you asked, like, how do you know, how do we know

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:42

when we are reclaiming ourselves?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:43

How do we even know if we're in that process?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:44

And I, I do feel like you've, you have a shifted perception.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:49

Visually almost.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:51

And in my body, I just feel like my cells coming together and tingling a little bit.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:56

Like there's a sense of vibrational.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:27:58

And I think when it's a messier moment too, I think we feel.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:02

Fragments of ourselves, but they're close by.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:05

I don't know I'm getting really, but I, I think it's important and that's a

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:08

really important discussion to have with people is like, how will I sense this?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:13

I think those are three ways.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:14

I would sense that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:15

So that was a moment where sort of a, a reclaiming of myself process began in

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:20

the moment when my mom died and then has continued since then, but certainly was

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:24

a very acute in the first several years.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:28

And the process of grief is always an interesting revealer.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:32

it really is.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:33

I mean, my, my mom passed away about five years ago.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:28:36

Mm.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:37

I can relate to, you know, everyone's

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:39

journey is of course different.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:41

yeah, just navigating your own definition when that happens, navigating, you know,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:49

life, without them navigating the grief.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:52

Like it is a, it's very, very interesting journey.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:28:56

And I really love how you talked about the feeling in your body, because I think,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:03

you know, When we reclaim ourselves, it is an embodied feeling, right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:08

It's it's not something in our head.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:10

And so like sometimes I think people think they've reclaimed a piece of themselves,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:15

but then they go back, you know, and, and they're like, oh, it didn't really.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:19

Changed.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:20

Nothing really changed, but I feel like when you, when you have that embodied

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:24

experience, even if you go back into default or bad habits, there's always that

Sonya Stattmann: 00:29:29

reference point and you're able to go back to it and feel it in a whole bodied way.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:35

I love that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:36

I think that's a great tip Sonya.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:38

I think I do that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:39

That's what I said in meditation.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:41

I kind of bring myself back to that moment.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:43

We are beings who we are hardwired to bookmark visuals and bookmark sensations.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:53

And when we express those sensations, even if it's within our own realm,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:29:57

like in meditation or journaling, Those come back to us and they live again.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:02

And we begin to sync up our energy with other people who can experience that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:06

And this isn't, this isn't mystical, this is science, right?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:10

So our brains begin to sync up with one another.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:13

When we're sharing Sensu details of the sites, the sounds, the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:17

smells the way my body felt, where I was, what was around me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:21

So I think that those are important.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:23

Talismans or grounding tools for us as we, as we go get off course,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:29

which we, which we do every day.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:31

Yes, we get off course.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:33

We go on course.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:34

And you know, that's something we're definitely gonna talk about

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:36

in this podcast is like that forgetting and remembering, right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:39

We don't get to a place where we're like, we're reclaimed task done.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:43

, you know, it's like we, yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:45

We reclaim a part of ourselves and we forget who we are again.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:48

And then we, oh, no, wait, here I am.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:50

And then we forget who we are again.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:51

And, and it's kind of that lifelong journey and giving ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:30:56

Acceptance to be there

Emily Soccorsy: 00:30:59

And the learning happens because of the forgetting

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:03

and we've been so like, trained to be like, oh, I just screwed that up.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:07

Right.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:07

And to be so punitive with ourselves and so critical.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:10

But if we don't have the forgetting, then we can't.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:14

Go to the next stage of practice.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:16

Like we cannot progress, you know, I gotta hit my head a hundred times

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:21

trying to figure out how to do Crow before I can achieve that pose in yoga.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:26

Like it's, without that pain, without that imbalance, we can't

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:31

ever really touch the progress.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:34

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:34

It's that skill building right too.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:36

It's like that, that ability to work at something and then.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:41

Lose it or, and then, but gain a little bit more confidence, right?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:43

Like it's like this process of skill boarding.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:47

And I think we don't allow that enough for ourselves and our

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:49

personal growth and our, know,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:52

no,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:31:53

of who we are.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:54

no.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:55

I have another little mantra that a friend and I kind of remind each

Emily Soccorsy: 00:31:58

other of, but small steps every day.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:01

Small steps.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:02

And just thinking about today, I, I did the Google search, you know, I filled

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:07

out a form and that's a small step and, or I persisted through the day and I

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:12

didn't do didly squat towards that goal, but I got myself whole through the day.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:17

That's okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:18

Small steps every day.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:19

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:20

A hundred

Emily Soccorsy: 00:32:20

Mm-hmm

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:21

that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:22

All right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:22

So I wanna take a little turn, so, you know, it's, so it's so

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:26

beautiful us getting access to your history and your personal journey.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:30

So thank you for sharing all of that with us.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:33

I wanna dig a little bit into your work.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:35

I mean, we talked a little bit about your career and where you are today

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:39

and you know, for anyone who doesn't know root and river, it's a very.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:43

Different and powerful branding company.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:47

Like what you all do is really kind of essentially, like you said,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:50

pull out that soul of a business.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:54

And, and I have used that and experienced that, and it's really,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:57

really beautiful and powerful.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:32:59

But I wanna tap a little bit into.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:33:02

If you were to describe your life's work or at least a thread of that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:33:06

Right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:33:06

Cause I think we're always kind of developing our life's work, but if you

Sonya Stattmann: 00:33:10

were to kind of describe maybe a thread of that, what, what would you say is

Sonya Stattmann: 00:33:14

kind of a thread of your life's work?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:15

Yeah, so I can, after let's see, I think

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:19

it was about 20 15, 20 16.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:21

I was sort of going through this crisis of identity.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:24

One of many I'm sure I'll have . And I called my dad and I said, you

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:29

know, what do you know about B what do you know to be true about me?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:33

You've known me my whole life.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:35

And he repeated something to me that he'd said before, but it had never

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:38

quite hit in the same way, which was You translate emotion into words

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:43

better than anyone I've ever met.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:45

And it just kind of snapped or clicked into place for me as like,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:49

yes, like that's what I'm here to do.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:52

So, you know, and your question, I feel like that is my life's work.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:33:57

And that has been the driving force in every iteration, in

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:02

my professional career, as well as you know, outside of that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:05

But I, I feel that I'm doing that essentially in one way or another.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:10

Another purpose that I have in life is this idea of trying

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:14

to inspire through my own.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:17

Efforts and failures inspire undivided living because I feel that we have

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:23

really, we have this tendency as, as human beings and certainly human

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:26

beings who are living kind of apart from the land in all these little

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:31

compartments, we divide ourselves up.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:34

Parker Palmer writes about this divided life and, I have not been great at this

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:39

, but I feel that this is something that I wanna get better at and I wanna inspire.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:44

And I think we do this in our work at rutin river is to remove the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:48

division between you know, Sony, the business woman and Sony, the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:52

human being like it's, it's all one.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:53

And the same, we can come from the same place we can ground into the same truth.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:34:58

And we can share that in a lot of different, a lot of different

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:02

modalities, a lot of different ways.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:03

And so I'm a ambassador of that idea is to, I think it,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:09

it gives such relief to people.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:11

When, and it helps to break down pretense when you can say, yeah,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:17

your business, your business beliefs or core values are the same as your

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:22

personal beliefs or core values.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:23

So let's get into it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:24

You don't have to hold them at arms length.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:26

And just the same as when I'm writing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:29

So I write a, a newsletter, just a personal newsletter called

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:32

thought cookie once a month.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:33

And when I'm writing that I'm really trying to tap into, you know, what

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:37

are the divisions that I'm feeling within myself that I'm wrestling with?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:41

What are the emotions that are rising and, and how do I see that reflected in the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:44

culture around me or in friends around me?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:46

And how can we create space?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:48

How can we be graceful with ourselves in healing, those divisions?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:53

Because I think on the other side of that is this tremendous capacity to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:35:57

live wholeheartedly, whole mindedly.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:01

And to decrease divisions.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:04

If we are divided against ourselves, there's no way we can connect with

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:09

other people who are different than us.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:12

And that's really, you know, the heart of it for me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:15

So kind of smash those two things together and, and I think

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:18

that's what I'm here to do.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:20

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:20

So beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:21

I mean, I can really resonate with the, you know, translating emotions and I

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:26

think that's such a gift, like to be able to language emotion, to be able

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:31

to help people feel through words, you know, it's just such a profound

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:35

experience and something so needed in the world, cuz our brains want to like

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:40

understand in words, but our bodies want to understand in emotions and energy.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:47

And so being able to kind of combine those as like a bridge, right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:50

A bridge to, truth

Emily Soccorsy: 00:36:52

mm-hmm.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:52

we, who we are.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:54

And I love the, the undivided cuz that's wholeness, right?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:36:58

When we're, when we're no longer divided we're whole and we're able

Sonya Stattmann: 00:37:03

to connect in such a more profound way to ourselves and to our mission

Sonya Stattmann: 00:37:07

and to who we are and to others.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:37:10

Um, you know, it's not either, or it's.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:13

correct.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:14

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:15

And it, it makes us able to see ourselves and other people and reduces

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:21

our tendency to other, which is.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:25

The beginning of dehumanization and division and genocide.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:29

And I don't mean to be to exaggerate there, but I truly believe that you wanna,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:34

if you wanna deal with violence, you have to look at the inner life and how we talk

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:39

to ourselves and how we look at ourselves.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:42

And the pain that exists in inside of people is really what leads to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:48

horrific acts of, of violence and harm.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:52

And so I feel that I can maybe affect that in some small way.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:37:58

Very small way by by know, encouraging people.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:01

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:02

Yes.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:03

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:03

Touching someone helping someone to connect to their

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:07

emotions or to reconnect to themselves.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:10

There's nothing more important than that, right?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:12

Like, and the seeds that we plan in all the different ways, they're so powerful.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:17

Right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:17

And I think sometimes what we've been taught and particularly women,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:20

I think, you know, we think we have to make such a huge impact.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:23

We have to affect the millions.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:24

We have to like reach everybody, but it, the power is in the seats, right?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:29

The power.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:30

In the little ways that we touch people, where they have more self

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:33

awareness, they have more connection it's even in our vibration and presence.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:38

Like when we have awareness and we enter into someone's vibrational

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:42

field, they feel more awareness like it's this, there's so much

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:46

profoundness in the way we're able to touch people in such simple ways.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:51

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:38:53

powerful.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:53

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:54

It's it's like how you behave in a conversation or one of

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:58

my favorite things to do.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:38:58

I learned this from a friend of mine who, who said it to me and I was

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:01

like, oh my gosh, I'm using that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:03

is if you have a friend who's kind of getting down on themselves or being

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:06

critical of themselves, even in just like in an offhand comment, I try to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:10

say, don't talk about my friend that way.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:12

I had, it said to me, it brought me up short and I was like, wow.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:15

Okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:16

Or teaching, you know, Jason and I have been very intentional about trying to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:19

teach our daughters that it's okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:22

Whatever emotion you're having is okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:24

Right.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:24

It's accepted.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:25

It's welcomed.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:26

And my oldest daughter's at college now and she was relaying

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:29

something about a friend who was going through a difficult time.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:32

And she told me without, you know, thinking you know, I just told

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:36

her it's okay to have that emotion and all your emotions are okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:39

And I was like,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:39:40

success

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:42

Like,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:39:43

right?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:43

I know.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:45

but in that, for that person in that moment, yeah, that little, that's a

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:49

little thing that I hopefully help.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:52

In part to her, I reminded her of her own wisdom of

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:55

that consistently enough that she shared it with somebody else.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:39:58

And then maybe that shifted something for them.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:00

And then who knows what the ripple effect from that can be.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:03

But those are the little minute things that we can do every day to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:09

try to shift, to create larger shifts.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:11

I.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:12

I think so too.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:12

And I love that one in particular, like, you know, so much of sometimes what I talk

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:17

about with emotional intelligence is just that piece of just accepting emotions,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:21

just accepting all of our emotions.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:25

Like not only raises our emotional intelligence, but allows us to be,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:28

have more empathy towards others, more connection towards others,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:31

more relationship with ourself.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:33

Like there's just so much that, just that one tiny thing does if we were teaching

Sonya Stattmann: 00:40:38

it in schools, if we were teaching it everywhere, I think we'd be up in a much

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:43

Oh, I fully agree with that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:45

I could go off on

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:46

a, on a a soliloquy.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:49

Okay, good about, you know, who cares about like organic chemistry?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:52

Well, I guess doctors do, but who cares about like algebra two when we need to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:56

be teaching people how to acknowledge and talk about their feelings?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:40:59

Like if we don't do that, what can we achieve from a yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:03

Anyway,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:03

yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:04

A hundred percent.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:05

All right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:05

So tell us a little bit about what you wanna talk about this season and why,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:11

so we, you know, just give it, we're gonna give a little bit of teasers to

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:13

maybe what our episodes will look like.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:16

The topics you kind of wanna bring to the surface, cuz I think it's,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:41:19

it's kind of fun to do that and gives everybody a little bit of a sneak pick.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:22

Yeah, you bet.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:23

Well, we already touched on some of the themes that we're gonna kind of bring out

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:27

in my episodes, but I really want to talk about The way that we divide ourselves

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:33

up and the way that we get sucked into that it's something I call the muchness.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:38

Like our world is full of demands.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:41

Like we get.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:43

4,000 to 6,000 demands for attention and immediate action every single day.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:49

And that, that number was several years ago.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:52

Right?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:52

So it's, it's way past that from the moment we roll over and pick

Emily Soccorsy: 00:41:56

up our phone on our bedside table, we are in response mode and.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:01

Because of those demands, we are divided beings.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:04

Like we divide ourselves up.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:06

So the muchness exists.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:07

It's like clouds all around us.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:09

We don't always know it's there.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:11

We, it exerts pressure on us that we're not necessarily always Cognizant of,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:16

so I wanna talk about that and I wanna break that down and I wanna look at

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:20

ways that we can become aware of, of how that, that pressure affects us and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:26

why it leads to anxiety and burnout and feelings of inadequacy and comparison.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:31

At least those are all things that leads to in me.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:33

and then how can we do small things again, it's rooting into those small things.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:39

Combat or to place ourselves outside of the muchness to step aside and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:45

away and put it at arm's length for those moments when, for our lives.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:51

So we can, Recla reclaim our lives and not get sucked into it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:42:55

So that's one thing we'll be diving into.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:42:56

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:42:57

I can't wait.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:42:58

That sounds

Sonya Stattmann: 00:42:58

really exciting.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:43:00

Anything else you wanna share that we might be diving?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:03

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:03

I mean, I really, you know, I'm all about the messiness and you may pick

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:08

that up from our discussion here.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:10

Like I.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:11

I I had too, like things that the polished and perfect and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:17

perfect perfection doesn't exist.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:18

It's just kind of a, another measure of punishment on ourselves.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:22

So I really wanna get into just generally like the messy middles

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:26

and, and how mess can be awesome and how to recognize it right.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:31

And how to not get down on our.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:33

And so I think that's another thread as we kind of come through this season

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:38

that we'll be talking about and how to really language that, how to put

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:42

words around what we're experiencing, because in language is the, is, is

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:47

the thing that we can do once we convert those emotions into language.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:50

There's freedom on the other side of that.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:52

And so I think that's owning our stories, as you said earlier, defining

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:56

what we mean by, by terms and.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:43:59

That sounds like a word nerd, like just saying that, but the power, the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:44:03

energetic power of doing that is huge.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:44:07

And so I wanna explore that with you and with, with everybody else

Emily Soccorsy: 00:44:11

involved and, and with our listeners.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:13

Yeah, I love that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:14

And you know, messiness is such a part of the reclaiming ourselves process.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:19

Like if we can't embrace that, we don't get to the other side of it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:23

Right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:24

Like, cuz we're so busy trying to avoid the messiness.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:28

That, you know, we actually never get to the truth of reclaiming who we are.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:32

And so I think that's a, a, a very important topic and and something

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:37

I'm super excited to dive in.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:38

I just can't wait to dive into all of it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:40

Like we're gonna have such amazing conversations.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:42

So thank you for being here and thank you for sharing with us, your story.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:46

And I wanna kind of, you know, wrap up this, this episode with

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:51

a couple of rapid fire questions.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:53

So,

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:53

you know, Well, let's do it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:55

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:44:56

So tell us your favorite books.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:44:59

I'm glad you put an S on that because there are so many

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:03

yeah,

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:03

The Alchemist is, is at the top of the list.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:06

Broken open would be another one bird by bird by Anne Lamont.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:11

I also love a series of mystery books written by Louis penny that have a.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:16

Very charismatic, central figure.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:18

And so I love, I love reading.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:20

I read constantly, so I have many books and I reread the

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:24

great Gatsby every few years.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:26

And it, it is a beautiful piece of, of writing.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:29

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:30

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:30

I can't wait to like, take all these books and go find them

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:33

if I haven't read them yet.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:34

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:35

okay.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:35

So favorite music or podcasts?

Sonya Stattmann: 00:45:37

So either one, like what do you love listening?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:40

Oh, that's great.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:41

So I love, I'm very eclectic music taste currently.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:44

Right now I'm really into Ruby Bridgers, but I've been on a

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:48

Chris Stapleton kick as well.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:50

I love Lizzo.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:51

I love her.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:52

I love everything that she's about.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:55

My daughters are obsessed with Harry styles.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:45:56

So I've gotten into Harry styles, but the classics as well.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:00

My favorite band is indigo girls.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:03

Who I kind of grew up with.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:05

But I love music and podcasts, just like this podcast, anything that's

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:09

like a, an, a compelling conversation.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:11

So I love Brene.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:12

I love all her podcasts.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:14

Um, I'm currently binging on a podcast by Kate bowler.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:18

It's called everything matters.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:20

So that's been really interesting and I love design matters too by Debbie Millman.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:24

So just a few

Sonya Stattmann: 00:46:25

it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:46:26

Perfect.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:46:26

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:46:27

Some of your favorite TV shows.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:29

I, I think my favorite TV show of all time that I

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:33

get the most obsessed with was lost.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:36

So I'm a huge lost nerd and loved ER, when I was growing up.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:40

But I also like I don't know if you've, if our listeners have listened or

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:44

watched work in moms on Netflix, but it's a Canadian show and there are

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:48

about five seasons and it's as a.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:52

White middle class mom, just working, raising kids, they just nail it.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:46:56

But the, the characters are messy and real and awesome.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:00

And you guys should go watch it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:02

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:03

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:04

How about favorite foods?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:05

I love anything like farm to table.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:08

So little like I'm a little, we're a little bit of foodies around here.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:12

mm-hmm

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:13

But anything that's come, you know, from a local garden

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:16

and been thoughtfully prepared.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:17

That's sort of my favorite thing to eat, but we love food.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:21

I love to bake.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:21

I'm a baker.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:22

So I like to bake as well.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:24

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:24

Okay, good.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:25

I wish I was there.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:25

I get some of your baked goods.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:27

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:28

all right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:29

And last question.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:30

Favorite indulgence.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:33

My favorite indulgence is time to myself.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:36

Yeah.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:37

to read just like a stack of books next to

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:41

a super comfy could be couch.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:43

Could be bathtub, maybe some dark chocolate.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:47

Mm.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:47

Decadence.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:48

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:48

Sounds.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:49

Perfect.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:50

All right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:50

Well, thank you so much for being in here.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:47:52

Anything that you wanna add as we wrap up this episode to our listeners?

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:57

Now I definitely want to know that we have

Emily Soccorsy: 00:47:59

you in mind as listeners.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:01

And so we invite you back into these conversations and we'd love to hear what

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:06

was evoked for you if you disagreed great.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:10

, for all of us involved in.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:12

It's like the opportunity to find residents, but also be intrigued and

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:18

be curious and be drawn in through maybe things that we disagree on.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:22

So that's okay.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:23

That's all welcome.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:24

And I'm, I'm just so grateful to engage those conversations with

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:27

you and the other amazing women.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:48:30

Aw, me too.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:48:32

All right.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:48:32

Well thank you, Emily.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:48:33

And thank you listeners.

Sonya Stattmann: 00:48:34

And we will see you next week.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:43

Hey, it's Emily.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:45

I hope something from our conversation today inspired you.

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:48

And if you find yourself curious about my work about intrinsic branding or about

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:54

Root and river, I invite you to head over to rootandriver.com where you can sign up

Emily Soccorsy: 00:48:59

for our newsletter, or you can read some of our free content hope to see there.