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Meet Co-Host Laura Shook-Guzman | Advocate for Founder Mental Health

Are you ready to meet our first co-host, Laura Shook-Guzman? In this episode, Sonya interviews her longtime podcast collaborator and friend, Laura, sharing the story of their work together and Laura’s journey to reclaiming herself personally & professionally. 

Laura talks about her passion for founder mental health, the importance of reclaiming ourselves as individuals & entrepreneurs, and the ways past trauma can inhibit our growth. 

In this episode, you get a chance to learn more about Laura, why she agreed to join this podcast, and some of the books & resources she uses to support her well-being and wholeness.   

Join us as we discuss: 

  • 12:04 Laura’s focus on reclaiming connection with the body.
  • 14:40 The ways that moments of tension and of joy can both signal an opportunity to step into our higher selves.
  • 18:07 Recognizing – and letting go of – the need to meet the expectations of others.
  • 32:51 The ways that individual trauma and systemic constraints limit our personal development.
  • 35:12 The commonality of trauma and how the body can get stuck trying to process it.

Resources mentioned in the show:

Learn more about the co-hosts: 

—> Sonya Stattmann is the host & creator of Reclaiming Ourselves™. She is a TEDx & corporate speaker and has been working with leaders around personal development for the last 22 years. She teaches workshops & offers small group programs around emotional intelligence, transformational & embodied leadership, and energy management. You can find more about her here:

Website: https://www.sonyastattmann.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyastattmann/

—> Laura Shook-Guzman, co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, LMFT, and Somatic Psychotherapist for entrepreneurs has been a mental health professional for 23 years. She’s the founder of three businesses; the world’s first Wellness Coworking Community Soma Vida, the global community Women Who Cowork, and her own therapy practice, Conscious Ambition. You can find more about her here: 

Website: http://www.laurashookguzman.com/

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurashookguzman/ 

What you can do next:

  1. For more episodes, opportunities, and information on the hosts, visit http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
  2. Love the podcast? Get episodes delivered to your inbox with articles related to the topics we talk about. You can sign up at http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
  3. Need a little weekly magic? Sign up for Worthy Love Notes & weekly affirmations here https://www.sonyastattmann.com/self-worth-affirmations-2/  

Thank you for being you. We are so honored to have you as a listener!

Transcript
Laura Shook-Guzman:

moments of that freedom or that moment where you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

just reclaimed something in yourself and even con maybe not consciously

Laura Shook-Guzman:

at the time where you even going, oh, I'm reclaiming this, right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's just, you know, in hindsight now I realize, oh, that was one

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of this, these pivotal moments in which I started to shed the.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

To be what other people needed me to be and to step more

Laura Shook-Guzman:

confidently and being myself, you know, but that's been a journey.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And like you said, it's gonna be a thread because you know, here I am fast

Laura Shook-Guzman:

forward these 25 years later you know, and then it's like, oh my goodness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

How many times did I have to reckon with that over and over again

Sonya Stattmann:

Does it ever end?

Sonya Stattmann:

Does the reckoning ever end Laura?

Sonya Stattmann:

Cuz I, I I'm convinced that this is a lifelong journey, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's not a, it's not a, like we get to some end point where it's like,

Sonya Stattmann:

we've reclaimed it all and we're done

Sonya Stattmann:

if you know there is something deep inside of you that is yearning to be

Sonya Stattmann:

seen, to be known, and to have expression.

Sonya Stattmann:

If there's something you need to reclaim and remember: maybe it's your

Sonya Stattmann:

power or your purpose, your gifts.

Sonya Stattmann:

This is the podcast for you.

Sonya Stattmann:

Welcome to Reclaiming Ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing

Sonya Stattmann:

co-hosts, Laura Shook-Guzman, Belinda Haan, and Emily Soccorsy, here with

Sonya Stattmann:

me on this journey to self discovery.

Sonya Stattmann:

Every week we're gonna help you unravel and remember what it means to reclaim

Sonya Stattmann:

yourself, to own who you are to recognize your innate worth and greatness.

Sonya Stattmann:

Now, those podcast is a deep dive into self-development healing and empowerment.

Sonya Stattmann:

So hold on.

Sonya Stattmann:

Here we go.

Sonya Stattmann:

Just a quick note, before we dive into today's episode.

Sonya Stattmann:

These initial episodes are introduction episodes.

Sonya Stattmann:

One of the reasons I chose to have co-hosts instead of guests, was

Sonya Stattmann:

to give you the opportunity to get to know us, and to spend the topic

Sonya Stattmann:

episodes talking about the topics.

Sonya Stattmann:

So today's special episode is a deep dive into one of the co-hosts' stories.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's gonna give you context for why we are here and what we

Sonya Stattmann:

have to contribute this season.

Sonya Stattmann:

Enjoy getting to know us.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you for listening.

Sonya Stattmann:

And if you wanna learn more, be sure to visit reclaimingourselvespodcast.com.

Sonya Stattmann:

Welcome back to the reclaiming ourselves podcast.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I am.

Sonya Stattmann:

So excited right now because I get to do the interview episode with Laura.

Sonya Stattmann:

Now, Laura and I have talked a lot about ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

We, you know, have shared a lot of who we are on our other podcasts together,

Sonya Stattmann:

but I, I'm excited to kind of approach this with a new lens, right shine, a

Sonya Stattmann:

new light on where Laura is today and,

Sonya Stattmann:

how she's integrated along the way.

Sonya Stattmann:

So welcome Laura.

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm so excited that we're here together today.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm really excited to be here as well.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I feel like it might be a little bit like we just put a disclaimer,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this might be like Laura verbally processing therapy session.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

As we talk about the answers to these questions, cuz there's just like a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

lot of change and a lot of different integration, I think that's happening.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So thanks for.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Turning the mic on me in this way to be able to, to kind of explore I'm

Laura Shook-Guzman:

looking forward to the conversation.

Sonya Stattmann:

Me too.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's gonna be awesome.

Sonya Stattmann:

I have no doubt.

Sonya Stattmann:

So let me start at the beginning.

Sonya Stattmann:

Assuming that we have new listeners, who've never listened to us talk

Sonya Stattmann:

before let's cover some of the basics.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like where do you live?

Sonya Stattmann:

Do you have kids?

Sonya Stattmann:

Do you have a partner?

Sonya Stattmann:

Give us a little bit of background about where you currently are.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I am in Austin, Texas, where I've been for now.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Oh my goodness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Over a decade.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I grew up in Texas but went away for a while.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Went to California.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I went to Europe, went to Canada.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So back in.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And home land territory, but I dream of traveling a lot again, but Austin,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Texas will probably always be home base.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I'm here with my family.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I've got my daughter who is off in college and she's second year

Laura Shook-Guzman:

university of British Columbia.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's just wild.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

She's all the way up in Canada.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then my son who is turning nine going into third grade, so they're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

getting older, I'm getting older.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And my husband, Jay and I are laughing a lot about like, okay, wait, by

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the time he 10 years from now, are we gonna have all the energy to do

Laura Shook-Guzman:

all the things that we wanna do?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that would say it's like, we're ready to do now.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

I know it's so funny cuz you know, for people who haven't listened to us

Sonya Stattmann:

before, you know, Laura and I both kind of have a similar journey with kids.

Sonya Stattmann:

We have an older child and we have a new child that we had in our new marriages.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think like going around the bend again, is a very interesting

Sonya Stattmann:

process when you kind of think, wow, I could be completely free

Sonya Stattmann:

of kids if I hadn't had the second one, which we love, which we love.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

But

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's so true.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We have that in common, you know, the 12 year gap, we could be empty

Laura Shook-Guzman:

nesters right now, but of course, you know, there's a lot also to enjoy

Laura Shook-Guzman:

about parenting a second time around when you're more relaxed, more calm.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And you know, and I did a lot of that traveling when my daughter was little.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And now it's different to have , the roots.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like I said, you know, kind of growing up here, having family nearby, if my

Laura Shook-Guzman:

mom and dad that aren't far away, that can be very involved grandparents.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And my mother-in-law as well is not too, you know, very far away.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So, you know, having that is very different experience than my first

Laura Shook-Guzman:

time around where I was doing it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You know, The support of family, but then that's actually what led me to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

make a lot of family with friends and finding other moms and dads and other

Laura Shook-Guzman:

parents that were doing it in a similar way, you know, on their own away from

Laura Shook-Guzman:

a lot of extended family or community and, and making community for ourselves.

Sonya Stattmann:

And, and I'm interested to know if that is

Sonya Stattmann:

a part of your journey, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like one of the things that I wanna kind of talk about in this episode is, what

Sonya Stattmann:

are sort of two to three pivotal points in your life that you feel you maybe

Sonya Stattmann:

really reclaimed yourself, or you really remembered who you were like, you know,

Sonya Stattmann:

what are some of those, those points that really started to help you define yourself

Sonya Stattmann:

and recognize who you actually are?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that's a really great question.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I've been asking myself a, a lot about that too, because now I'm

Laura Shook-Guzman:

marking about, you know, 25 years.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

since, you know, starting this journey, I mean, I graduated grad school just to,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to age myself here a little bit in 2000.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And prior to that, I was already a mental health professional.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Cuz when I got out of undergrad, I started as a manager at a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

residential treatment center.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So, I mean, definitely looking at 25 years of doing this type of work,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

working in mental health, I was always curious about what are the different

Laura Shook-Guzman:

variables, the different aspects.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Support human growth.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I was always curious about the resilience in people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I remember actually early on people saying to me, oh, that must be so hard.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You're working in, you know, residential treatment centers, you know, the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

stories of those children and all of the different levels of abuse and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

things that you're witnessing and, and trying to support that must be so hard.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I would say, yes, it is hard yet.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What I'm drawn to is.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Ability to persevere to not just survive in some situations, but go on

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to transcend their trauma to overcome.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And that is actually what always got me kind of like, that was the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

thing that supported my curiosity.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like, wow, why is it that some people can really.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

through and beyond and actually transform.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then for some people they can't there there's something missing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And and often what I found was missing when I.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Talk with clients about like, I would ask them, you know, do you remember

Laura Shook-Guzman:

someone that was there for you?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And do you remember someone like that saw you and connected with you?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And for those that were able to say, yeah, I had that teacher or I had that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

grandparent, or I had that neighbor or that aunt and the uncle, someone

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in their life at, even in the hardest of times, if they had someone they

Laura Shook-Guzman:

connected with and they felt saw them.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Listen to them, they were doing more to heal and they were more resilient.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I think that like captured my curiosity and has guided my

Laura Shook-Guzman:

career path as, as a therapist and as an entrepreneur is what happens

Laura Shook-Guzman:

when we're more deeply connected.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And as children, we have to deeply connect with someone else to learn about it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like our nervous systems are not fully formed until the age of two.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like we have to learn from our caregivers what it means to experience connection.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like we have this birthright, but we also learn it around other people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I just have been fascinated about like, well, what happens

Laura Shook-Guzman:

if you didn't learn that?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Can you still learn?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And

Sonya Stattmann:

Has anyone learned that?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, and, and I just think like we're in an interesting time about, you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know, the levels of disconnection.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So it's just interesting for me to look back now and realize I had no idea

Laura Shook-Guzman:

what was gonna happen in the world.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Obviously over the 25 years that I was, that I was on this path that I am a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

therapist, but I'm seeing the connection.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

people's ability to connect to themselves and connect to others and connect to the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

earth and the environment around them.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like that was always something that I was curious about and tracking.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And now I find myself working with clients in this time in which there's an epidemic

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of isolation, loneliness, disconnection, disease, dis-ease in the body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So yeah, so I think I'm not sure.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm articulating at all that like bullet point, like, but I think

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that it's definitely these, these themes around human resilience

Laura Shook-Guzman:

connection, the power of community.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and that's really kind of what prompted you even ask me this question, I think

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is I was talking about the power of community, you know, and, and it's like,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that was a big piece of becoming a parent and feeling isolated and overwhelmed

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and, and needing to find friendship and connection and, and validation from other

Laura Shook-Guzman:

people in a way that I may have not needed as much in the past before becoming a mom.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like it was such a vulnerable.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Thing that I needed that level of connection and community.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then as a therapist, I was just always interested in, in how powerful

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the social connections are between human beings and what they can create for us.

Sonya Stattmann:

And do you feel that, like, that's such a core piece of what

Sonya Stattmann:

we might talk about this season as well about reclaiming ourselves that

Sonya Stattmann:

is it's about reconnecting to ourselves and others, but you know, how would

Sonya Stattmann:

you kind of bridge that with sort of this idea of reclaiming ourselves?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah, I think exactly that is reclaiming.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

This connection is about reclaiming connection with self and as a somatic.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Trained therapist is really, and that's for those listeners that may not know

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is like body based psychotherapy, really understanding the language of sensation

Laura Shook-Guzman:

felt sense how the nervous system is experiencing the world, how that affects

Laura Shook-Guzman:

our emotions and you know, the physical body it's like, and they're thinking

Laura Shook-Guzman:

minds like all of that integration.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I think that that is where I really wanna focus this season

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is what does it mean to reclaim.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the connection to self through the body.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

one of my favorite topics.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and this, and, and I just wanna clarify, and it's not like,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

how are, you know, this is all important, like your sleep hygiene and your nutrition

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and movement and all those things are extremely important, but we're gonna

Laura Shook-Guzman:

talk more in those, the subtle body as the Buddhist psychologist refer to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

it as like the subtle, the energetic.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

With a felt sense of things.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like I find that many of my clients come into my office without

Laura Shook-Guzman:

knowing the language of their body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

They can tell me that they feel sad or that they feel frustrated or angry.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But when I ask, how do they know, where do they feel that in the body?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

How does the body tell them that this is the experience that they're sitting with?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Many of them don't know how to answer that question.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And interestingly, many of them.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or worried about that being a individual flaw, they're like, oh, is

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that something everybody else can do?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm like, no, it's really something that we aren't taught.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We aren't really learning in schools a little bit more social development

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and happening, but very little discussion around the power of the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

body and what the body tells us about.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Our experiences and how to respond and respect the needs of the body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So returning to self isn't, just a philosophical conversation

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with my with my clients or in this season that we're gonna go.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's like, how do we really step back into reclaiming it through the body?

Sonya Stattmann:

yes, I can't wait.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so to kind of bridge this back to you, what are some, you know,

Sonya Stattmann:

maybe times in your life, you know, if you could share with us where

Sonya Stattmann:

you reclaimed yourself, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

Where you reclaimed that connection to the body or where

Sonya Stattmann:

you remembered, who you really are.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, I, I think sometimes when we talk about reclaiming ourselves,

Sonya Stattmann:

you know, everyone has a different experience of what that feels like,

Sonya Stattmann:

what that looks like, what situation or circumstances that comes out of.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think all of us sharing our own experiences gives the listeners

Sonya Stattmann:

kind of some reference points that they can look at in their own life

Sonya Stattmann:

may, may resonate, may not resonate, but for you, what were some pivotal

Sonya Stattmann:

times that you reclaimed yourself?

Sonya Stattmann:

What did it feel like?

Sonya Stattmann:

What did it look like?

Sonya Stattmann:

What were the circumstances?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Hmm, that's really good.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And, and it's interesting cuz I first thought went to, you know, Something

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

that was a difficult period of my life.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I think that's often.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

The case of like discomfort creates an opportunity for stepping into a

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

higher version of ourselves, or just like, it's like the, the tension

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

of the rubbing of the Pearl, right?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

It's like it, you need that tension.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

But I think first I wanna, there's two, two times in my life that come to mind

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

and the first one's actually more of a, like a joyous moment or like a place.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Embodying a felt sense of freedom and confidence.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I think, you know, for me, that was early on in my twenties

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

when I individuated from.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

My family.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And from my home state, like I talked about growing up in Texas, I grew up

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

in a small town and it was wonderful to have a community of so many people

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

that knew you and supported you.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And, you know, everybody knew everybody's business and I couldn't wait to move

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

beyond what I felt like was kind of this confines of a small town and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

go into the big city, go into, you know, these bigger parts of life

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

that I, I wanted to get away from.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Everyone, knowing who I was.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I almost wanted to slip into this like anonymous way of being

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

and, and observe and notice people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And so when I went off to college, that was, that was the first step.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

It was really when I moved from Texas to California and I started grad school.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I remember just that moment when everyone.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Left after I moved into my apartment, cuz I, my mom and dad were

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

supportive in helping me do that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

But it's like that first night alone on the carpet of my pretty empty apartment.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

It had some things, but I remember it feeling like, oh, this is my space.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And it's up to me to figure this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I don't know the city at all.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

I don't know where the grocery store is yet.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Like, I don't know where, where I'm going.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

I'm just gonna get in my car tomorrow and drive and find out like what

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

I find and just drive towards the ocean and see what's there.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And there was something so joyous, liberating, freeing about stepping

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

into my aloneness, my separateness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And yet there was also fear.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And uncertainty, but in that period of time, I just remember

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

there being a reclaiming.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

It's not just a dis it's a discovery, but it was almost like a reclaiming

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

of all the things about myself that I intuitively knew were me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I hadn't let all of those things.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

out, so to speak in my life because your childhood's full of like meeting

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

expectations and, you know, parents being proud and I'm wanting to make them proud.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And I had a tendency I've talked about this and other conversations

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

with you that some of the listeners may know, but just being that golden

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

child or trying to keep everything, you know, keeping everybody else.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

Okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And so there was just this liberation, when I reclaimed an

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

essence of myself, That wasn't about anybody else's expectations.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Speaker:

And it was really more about me, you know?

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think that is gonna be this kind of common thread in this process.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

there's almost a letting go of society, parent partner expectation, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Letting go of the, the need to meet other people.

Sonya Stattmann:

To recognize and allow ourselves, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

So it's like sometimes the reclaiming seems like this.

Sonya Stattmann:

And it is like a power position, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It is like an owning.

Sonya Stattmann:

It is like a, but I think it starts with allowing, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

It starts with the opening and being curious and aware of who we already are.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Our essence.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think so that was like one of my first felt sense.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think about it too, that I have a felt.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Sense of that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I have a memory of that carpet and, and sitting and laying out.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I probably like laid on my back and spread my arms and legs

Laura Shook-Guzman:

white and just took it all in.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I have this beautiful Magnolia tree right outside my window, and I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

can remember what I saw and what I felt and when I smelled and what you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know, it's just, and that's where, you know, coming back to the fact

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that the body can hold a lot of.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Of memories and sensations that are hard,

Sonya Stattmann:

Mm-hmm

Laura Shook-Guzman:

it can also just hold so many moments of joy and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

moments of that freedom or that moment where you just reclaimed something

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in yourself and even con maybe not consciously at the time where you even

Laura Shook-Guzman:

going, oh, I'm reclaiming this, right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's just, you know, in hindsight now I realize, oh, that was one

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of this, these pivotal moments in which I started to shed the.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

To be what other people needed me to be and to step more

Laura Shook-Guzman:

confidently and being myself, you know, but that's been a journey.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And like you said, it's gonna be a thread because you know, here I am fast

Laura Shook-Guzman:

forward these 25 years later you know, and then it's like, oh my goodness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

How many times did I have to reckon with that over and over again

Sonya Stattmann:

Does it ever end?

Sonya Stattmann:

Does the reckoning ever end Laura?

Sonya Stattmann:

Cuz I, I I'm convinced that this is a lifelong journey, right?

Sonya Stattmann:

It's not a, it's not a, like we get to some end point where it's like, we've

Sonya Stattmann:

reclaimed it all and we're done like.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes, you're right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like layers and layers and layers, but that also keeps it really interesting.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You know, and I think that contrast what I was kind of reflecting just now,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

too, is that my, like I said, my mind went to something cuz there was a time

Laura Shook-Guzman:

when my daughter was just three is when there was a sudden change in my family

Laura Shook-Guzman:

structure in which her father and I separated and I was a single mom and it

Laura Shook-Guzman:

was a very sudden shift in which I was.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

All of a sudden, my vision and plan for the future was uprooted.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I had to quickly shift.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think at that moment through that uncertainty and that needing

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to I completely uprooted living in Canada and came back to Austin.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I think about that time of grief and sadness and overwhelm

Laura Shook-Guzman:

as being an opportunity in which every day I kind of got up thinking.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But what do I want?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like, this is happening to me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

These things are happening to me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I feel like I don't have control over them, but what do I do have control over?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And what do I want if I'm gonna create a life for myself that is in alignment with

Laura Shook-Guzman:

what I'm here to do, then let's do it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And there's something about that change in pattern that sometimes

Laura Shook-Guzman:

kicks you into a direct, like you're like kicking and screaming.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You're like, I don't wanna change.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I had this plan.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I was with this person.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I have this career plan.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm gonna live in this city and I'm gonna do this and this and this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then something unexpected happens.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And in that free fall sometimes is where there's a sudden aha.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And a, a moment of awareness.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think in that moment, I really began to reclaim not just like a separate

Laura Shook-Guzman:

sense of, Ooh, I have this identity that I don't have to please others.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It was like, Ooh, I am someone that needs to do what she needs and wants to do.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I needed to reclaim like a sense of selfhood.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That I had sort of started to lose as I was trying to modify and connect

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like, okay, here's my family unit.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I need to make my partner happy and I need to take care of my kid.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then being a single mom, as much as it was still about helping my

Laura Shook-Guzman:

child and being there for her, it was like a stepping into myself at a much

Laura Shook-Guzman:

deeper level than I had done before.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah.

Sonya Stattmann:

Such powerful examples.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I love that cuz, cuz I also, when I was exploring this question went to some

Sonya Stattmann:

of the darker moments, but I love that you also shared with us this piece about that

Sonya Stattmann:

joyous feeling because I have those too.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right.

Sonya Stattmann:

And we don't always go to those.

Sonya Stattmann:

We don't always reference them.

Sonya Stattmann:

But I love that you shared that.

Sonya Stattmann:

That was such a important piece as.

Sonya Stattmann:

Really beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

mm-hmm

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Well, to steer us in a little bit different direction.

Sonya Stattmann:

I wanna quickly kind of just do the background cause I know people

Sonya Stattmann:

are interested in, well, what do you, what do you do, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

And how did you get here?

Sonya Stattmann:

How, how did your career develop?

Sonya Stattmann:

Because I, I think so many of us on this podcast, like all the co-hosts,

Sonya Stattmann:

a lot of our work is our life's work.

Sonya Stattmann:

Right?

Sonya Stattmann:

So, you know, it's very connected that background to what we're

Sonya Stattmann:

here to do and who we are.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so.

Sonya Stattmann:

Briefly, give us a little bit of your background in terms of your career story.

Sonya Stattmann:

And then we'll get into some deeper questions.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I like that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I love that we're already actually showing, like we do a little

Laura Shook-Guzman:

bit of here's some, some simple information about where do you live?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

How many kids do you have?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then we deep dive and then we're like, Anne, wait, let's give some context.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I have kind of given a little hints here and there to what

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I do, what I'm about, but I, I.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

From the beginning I, I knew that I wanted to work in psychology.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I went on to grad school in California and got my master's

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in clinical psychology with an emphasis on marriage and family.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So systems therapy and went into, you know, the nonprofit world and agency

Laura Shook-Guzman:

work and really felt very drawn to work with those that were struggling

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with the impacts of trauma, a.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Unfortunate, you know, systemic and familial violence.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I spent the first, 10 to 12 years in that space as a trauma therapist.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then I began to actually, I experienced my own levels of secondary

Laura Shook-Guzman:

trauma, compassion, fatigue, burnout, which is something that we were warned

Laura Shook-Guzman:

about In school in grad school and talked about it in, in the agencies,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but there wasn't really a lot of support on, you know, how you were

Laura Shook-Guzman:

supposed to prevent that from happening.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So it's really kind of an interesting when I look back at my career, because

Laura Shook-Guzman:

a lot of times therapists will be like, you know, a career Therapist, like

Laura Shook-Guzman:

you're just doing agency work your whole career, or you do private practice.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And mine was kind of interesting because I really began to think entrepreneurial,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

you know, I was like, wait a minute.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I could practice in this container, which is the agency work.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I could practice in a group practice, which looks like this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I was kind of looking at all the different options and I didn't really

Laura Shook-Guzman:

see an option that I personally thought was going to support me the most.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like, I don't think that I can do the work, like the work that I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

wanna do at this deep level of trauma healing without a supportive system.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I don't really know if any of the existing therapy models.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Are giving me that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that was really kind of an interesting inquiry.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think a lot of founders entrepreneurs, we have this

Laura Shook-Guzman:

moment of like, but wait, I see a gap and I don't really know I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

don't like that there's a gap.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I'm gonna just try to see if I can fill it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I remember saying you know, to people around me at that time

Laura Shook-Guzman:

too, of like, I don't really wanna just keep complaining about there

Laura Shook-Guzman:

being a lack of systemic support.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I wanna figure out if I could create something like that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I Have a family that like, I come from some like several

Laura Shook-Guzman:

generations of entrepreneurs.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I think there was a little bit of that modeling was in my blood.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Mostly they were like retail, Andra entrepreneurs,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

farmers, ranchers retailing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But I was really curious about like, okay, what would this

Laura Shook-Guzman:

container be to start a business?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And of course that's how our story's integrated, where we come into alignment.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

People know our past is like we met through a single parent.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Event a mixer and social, and then we began to think together and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

you had that same question of why do we have to do our work silo?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Why do we have to feel so exhausted and overwhelmed and stressed?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And what would it be like if we created not only a workplace for therapists, but

Laura Shook-Guzman:

a workplace for all types of entrepreneurs and you know, anybody that's juggling,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

we call them parent entrepreneurs.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

at the time, like anybody that's juggling all the parenthood

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and the, the entrepreneurship.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so, you know, that really led me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

into my entrepreneurial phase of my career and creating you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know, the co-working space.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So Avita was so instrumental to prototype a concept in which we could work more.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Enter in a integrated way, we could remove the silos and again, see, this

Laura Shook-Guzman:

comes threading back to reclaiming the importance of connection that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

we can be connected to ourselves and get connected with community.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And that we could do more together if we weren't doing all of this by ourselves.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that really now looking back and like that was not a mistake

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that I had, you know, this part.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Experience, because by creating that co-working space, what I didn't know

Laura Shook-Guzman:

was gonna happen is I was going to open myself up to hear hundreds.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then probably by now thousands of stories like mine of entrepreneurs,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

founders, both men and women feeling really de fragmented,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

really overwhelmed overwork.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Confused about why it was so hard to get their business off the ground and do

Laura Shook-Guzman:

all the things that they needed to do.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so then my career started taking me on this path of the psychology of

Laura Shook-Guzman:

entrepreneurs and the psychological toll of this type of career choice.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And how it differs from the high stress of being in a CEO company, where at

Laura Shook-Guzman:

least you have a steady paycheck.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I mean, there were things that were like, yes, the high leader, you know, leadership

Laura Shook-Guzman:

was being researched and understood.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And there was a lot out there about executive coaching and executive support,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but I really began to get curious and all my time and an energy started going into

Laura Shook-Guzman:

working with entrepreneurs and looking at well, how are they healing trauma?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

While they're also running a business.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And how are these psychological in, I would would say obstacles sometimes

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like this mental health Wall.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Sometimes they would hit, like, they would just hit place where

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like, I don't know what to do.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I can't get past this, but I know I have to cuz I'm creating a business

Laura Shook-Guzman:

or I need to get to my next level.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But then there's all of these emotional pieces and physical, like chronic

Laura Shook-Guzman:

illness and certain things in their body that was like literally IMing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that, you know, has BEC led me to where I am now, when I think about it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So for the past decade now, I guess it's been 14, almost 15 years that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I've been really working in the field now of entrepreneurial, mental

Laura Shook-Guzman:

health, and really working with my clients to reclaim their connection

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to themselves, reclaim their somatic intelligence, their ability to be reson.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Within themselves to know their body and their nervous system so

Laura Shook-Guzman:

well that they can be proactive in being with the parts of them that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

are activated, that are overwhelmed, that are not getting their needs met.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so that leads me to, yes, this moment in my career, where now I feel like I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

have so many years of experience that are also then shaping the theoretical

Laura Shook-Guzman:

models that I've learned along the.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so right now, you know, just to kind of wrap up the tail end

Sonya Stattmann:

of that background right now, what would you say you're doing?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, are you working specifically with individuals?

Sonya Stattmann:

Are you doing group stuff?

Sonya Stattmann:

Like, what are you doing now?

Sonya Stattmann:

Just so people can understand, you know, what you're offering and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What are the current offers?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What what's where's that led me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So now I am in my private practice.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Conscious ambition, which is all about helping entrepreneurs individually.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I work with entrepreneurs one on one in therapy or in

Laura Shook-Guzman:

coaching, the coaching model.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I work with entrepreneurs with their partners.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I work with co-founders.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I work with teams and I work with individual entrepreneurs also in.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I love to run like one or two groups every quarter so that I can have

Laura Shook-Guzman:

these opportunity to, to bring more support to entrepreneurs.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So working with me is really about people coming.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Usually entrepreneurs come to me and say, I need something.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's like, A little bit more than coaching.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's kind of like therapy, but then I don't really know what I need.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I get a lot of that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like, I don't know what I need, but it feels like this is intense mental health.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I just do an assessment, you know, I just encourage clients to reach

Laura Shook-Guzman:

out and I just do a little consultation with them to be like, are you suited

Laura Shook-Guzman:

well, is it individual work or do we need a systems work with your partner

Laura Shook-Guzman:

at work or your family at home?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And do we need.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to work with a group of entrepreneurs or is your whole team.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that's what I love about being a family therapist is that all

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of that, those, those hours and thousands of hours that we spent

Laura Shook-Guzman:

working with the systems of different family units or work units, right?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like those systems.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Influence the individual and the individual influences the systems.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So working with me is like, I'm gonna help you.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Not only understand what's happening inside of yourself, but I want you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to look at what's going on in your environment so that you can really

Laura Shook-Guzman:

see where do I need this support.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Maybe it is just a one on one, or maybe I need to be in a group.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Part of my healing is to be vulnerable in front of other people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or part of my discovery is to be able to learn how to be more intimate and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

connected with my partner while I'm also pursuing my dreams and my, my aspirations.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

So it's connection to self connection to others, which is

Sonya Stattmann:

something I talk about as well.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think it's really important.

Sonya Stattmann:

And like, I just wanna pull this other thread because I think

Sonya Stattmann:

a lot of people would think.

Sonya Stattmann:

How is your trauma background relevant to, you know, sort of like

Sonya Stattmann:

I'm a founder, I'm an entrepreneur.

Sonya Stattmann:

Like I need to kind of work through some stuff and maybe, maybe some

Sonya Stattmann:

relationships, but, you know, I don't have any big trauma, like, but I want

Sonya Stattmann:

you to talk a little bit about, you know, the connection, because I mean, I

Sonya Stattmann:

know how important sort of this trauma work and understanding trauma is.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I'm, I'm curious for you to share that with the listeners.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

thank you for that question, because I think for a while,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I was kind of keeping those things a bit separate in my mind of like, oh, I have

Laura Shook-Guzman:

all my clients that I'm working with that have complex trauma, chronic trauma.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then I have my founders, my entrepreneurs, and many of them

Laura Shook-Guzman:

are not coming in for trauma.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So, you know, 70% of the population in the United.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Has experienced some type of trauma in their lifetime, according to recent data.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And that means, you know, it could be a one off like a car

Laura Shook-Guzman:

accident is a traumatic accident.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or it could be complex developmental chronic trauma, which somebody

Laura Shook-Guzman:

has abuse neglect in their, you know, childhood or background.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So there's a variety of different single incidents or.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Repeating experiences of trauma and trauma is when a, an experience feels

Laura Shook-Guzman:

life threatening to that individual.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So the body is responding.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

This is a life or death survival response.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then, so you can have that in one moment.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You can have that in several different moments.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So understanding that 70% of us experience trauma, almost, probably everyone that's

Sonya Stattmann:

you say it's a little bit more than

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I thought so I know I was

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, not

Laura Shook-Guzman:

isn't it,

Sonya Stattmann:

about their trauma, but yeah, I would go, I would go with 99%.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But now 20%, what's interesting of that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

This is a little bit more interesting is 20% actually do get diagnosed with PTSD.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So post traumatic stress disorder is when you experience a trauma,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but you have lingering effects of that response, that trauma response.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Stuck in the body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It has long lasting impacts.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So a lot of us can go through trauma and that's, what's I think confusing

Laura Shook-Guzman:

for some people, they're like, well, I had that really traumatic thing,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but then I, you know, I don't, I don't think it's affecting me anymore.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And you might be right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like, you might have gotten what you needed in that moment and been able to let

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that energy of the trauma move through.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And been able to heal that trauma or at least be able to now think about it

Laura Shook-Guzman:

without it being extremely activating or affecting your way of life or work.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But for some people that 20% it's very, so it was such an, an intense

Laura Shook-Guzman:

experience and their body and mind, weren't able to process that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that it actually does create lingering effects in the central nervous system.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So your autonomic nervous system is, you know, often still detecting that there's

Laura Shook-Guzman:

violence or every time you go across a bridge where you once had a car accident.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You become immobilized or have panic attacks or insomnia, depression,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

anxiety, all of these types of lingering emotional dysregulation

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is a response to unprocessed trauma.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And now we understand, thanks to over 20 now, maybe 40 years of trauma research.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We understand that it's much more about a inability of the body to move trauma

Laura Shook-Guzman:

through, to process the trauma energy.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

My, one of my teachers is Peter Levine.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So he says that trauma is a disorder of presence.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So those who have PTSD tend to still be in the trauma in the past.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And when they're in the past, then it's really difficult

Laura Shook-Guzman:

for them to be in the present.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So when my entrepreneurs are coming in, they're not coming in saying

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that they wanna work with PTSD.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

They're coming in saying that they are dysregulated, overwhelmed, not sleeping

Laura Shook-Guzman:

feeling irritable, having crying, spells, feeling, depressed, anxious.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so that's kind of the, the, the list of symptom.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's like, what do I do?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

This is impacting my business.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I can't think straight I'm just really dunno where to go with this.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And more and more as I begin to talk with them, of course, no,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this isn't related to trauma.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm just really stressed out right now.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

But as we would get into the stories of that conflict at

Laura Shook-Guzman:

work, or that inability to.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

For the funding or that, you know inability to stand up in front of

Laura Shook-Guzman:

a crowd or whatever it was, right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We'd start to, to work with those stories over and over again, there would start

Laura Shook-Guzman:

to be the telling of a moment in the past in which there may have been shame,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

humiliation, neglect, abuse, some type of harm in that person's life, whether it was

Laura Shook-Guzman:

early childhood or even a more recent, I.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and in their work, their body was taking in information, this, whatever,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this, this conflict was felt very similar in their body to that conflict.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

In the past now their head is like, no, that doesn't make any sense, but

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'd say, but what is your body feeling?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

because your, your body's actually sensing a very similar situation

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and our brains have evolved to help us survive, not to keep us

Laura Shook-Guzman:

happy and working well with others.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's like that that is not its primary goal.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's primary goal is to make sure that you're alive.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So as I've been able to explore more and more of this connection,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this trauma connection with, with my entrepreneurs, my founders, it really

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is starting to open up a whole new way of them to relate more compassionately

Laura Shook-Guzman:

with themselves because it's not a question of what's wrong with me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Why am I not a good leader?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Why can't I make this business run?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You know, why can't I get the money?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It becomes what happened to me.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What trauma is still stored in my body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That is keeping me from being able to reconnect to myself, to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

trust myself and to be able to have my full present experience.

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Sonya Stattmann:

Thank you for that, Laura, because this is some, you

Sonya Stattmann:

know, in the thousands of leaders and entrepreneurs and business owners, I've

Sonya Stattmann:

worked with, I've never found anyone who doesn't have those experiences, right.

Sonya Stattmann:

That something in their present is being affected by something in their past.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's still lingering in their body.

Sonya Stattmann:

And we don't talk enough about this.

Sonya Stattmann:

We don't, you know, either trauma is like this big thing that we talk about.

Sonya Stattmann:

And so many of us just don't relate to it.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, my parents didn't abuse me.

Sonya Stattmann:

I, you know, different.

Sonya Stattmann:

So we have kind of this, this way.

Sonya Stattmann:

We just ourself, instead of talking about, there's a lot of things that

Sonya Stattmann:

many of us experienced as children.

Sonya Stattmann:

Neglect, humiliation, shame, shame, shame, shame, so much shame.

Sonya Stattmann:

And.

Sonya Stattmann:

I think if we're not bringing up the connection, then we don't get the healing.

Sonya Stattmann:

if we keep ignoring all these things and pretend they don't exist, we

Sonya Stattmann:

don't get access to the healing.

Sonya Stattmann:

And I think, you know, probably like me, a lot of people come to you for something

Sonya Stattmann:

different, but then it's that benefit of your awareness and that benefit of

Sonya Stattmann:

your experience that allows you to get to the core of what really is going on.

Sonya Stattmann:

Because if you just treat the surface, if you just treat

Sonya Stattmann:

the symptoms, nothing changes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Exactly.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And you know, my interest is the individual and the system, the collective.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I love to remind, validate, teach coach my clients to remember that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

they're also existing within a climate.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that perpetuates the disengagement.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like we have a very pervasive and problematic hustle culture, right?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You and I, I mean, that's a thread through so much of our

Laura Shook-Guzman:

conversations and it's interesting.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I've been thinking and writing a little bit about this recently

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of just, you know, you have to understand that that, that pervasive

Laura Shook-Guzman:

hustle culture also keeps people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

In line, so to speak because as long as you're just hustling, then you're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

disengaged and you don't have to ask what is collectively wrong here?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like what's happening on a systemic cultural level that is causing harm, you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

know, because we're just all caught up in trying to keep going and keep going.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then you person.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yourself we keep personalizing what is a systemic problem.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then when you are underrepresented founders, when you are a woman or

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in the LGBTQ community, or consider in the bipo community, I mean, any

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of those underrepresented unders supported founders then guess what?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's even more difficult for you because you have systemic.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Pressures and inequalities that are affecting you.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I think that compassion, compassion, compassion is one

Laura Shook-Guzman:

of my biggest teaching moments.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's interesting because you would think that, oh, okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

As soon as somebody realizes that, then yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like let's just have compassion, but I work with performers like such high

Laura Shook-Guzman:

performers, as you know, too, as you work with these leaders that it's like,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

they can give compassion to others much more than they can give it to the.

Sonya Stattmann:

A hundred percent and compassion for others

Sonya Stattmann:

starts with compassion to self,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Exactly.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Exactly.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We can only be as compassionate for others as we are compassionate

Laura Shook-Guzman:

for self, we can only love others as deeply as we love ourselves.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We can only connect to others as deeply as we connect to self.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And this is why reclaiming this trust in self reclaiming connection.

Sonya Stattmann:

that's right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that's what this season for me I'm hoping is gonna be

Laura Shook-Guzman:

all about in all our conversations is just like reclaiming self means a trust

Laura Shook-Guzman:

in self, a compassionate response to self loving kindness to self, because

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that's where the change happens.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

What I've noticed with my clients is that when that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Starts to shift and they're able, and we've gotten past all of the

Laura Shook-Guzman:

protector parts of them that are really like, Nope, I can't be soft.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I can't let that down.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I've got to be responsible for other people.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's just like, there's so many of those narratives and so many

Laura Shook-Guzman:

protector parts that are like going along with that hustle, hustle, keep

Laura Shook-Guzman:

going, take care of everybody else.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's that softness, it's getting into that underbelly and into that heart

Laura Shook-Guzman:

soft space to be like it's okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I really am I don't even have the words for like how honored it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I feel that people trust me in that space.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I think that that's, what's really, really, really special and beautiful

Laura Shook-Guzman:

about what I get to do with my clients, the space that I share with them.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Is that I may be the only place that whole week or the whole month that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

they get to come and be themselves and be vulnerable and say the things that

Laura Shook-Guzman:

they're too afraid to say anywhere else.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And honestly, that has just made me a better human being because I just have

Laura Shook-Guzman:

gotten to witness more and more, and it helps me be more compassionate to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

myself that, wow, we are all struggling.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

As human beings to just want to be loved.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We all have this basic need to be loved, to love, to be valued, to

Laura Shook-Guzman:

be able to feel safe in the world.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Right.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

That's all we all need.

Sonya Stattmann:

all we all need.

Sonya Stattmann:

It's so simple.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I know.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, and he had so complex

Sonya Stattmann:

Yes exactly.

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

We've been able to, you know, kind of dip in and out of that deep reflection and

Sonya Stattmann:

that, that depth, and then also come up to kind of the surface and who you are.

Sonya Stattmann:

I mean, I love it's this beautiful complex picture.

Sonya Stattmann:

We, we have to kind of start wrapping up, unfortunately.

Sonya Stattmann:

Cuz we could talk all day, but I kind of wanna just wrap it up

Sonya Stattmann:

with some rapid fire questions.

Sonya Stattmann:

So.

Sonya Stattmann:

You know, maybe share with us like your favorite books.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Mm-hmm yes,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I know that's hard, when I think about my favorite books, I'll say

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that I really went for years, not reading, like I was an avid reader.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

As a child.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then as I got into my career, I think that I started

Laura Shook-Guzman:

reading a lot more nonfiction.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so in recent months I've been remembering how much I love fiction,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

specifically the genre of magical realism.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

so that is like one, like house of spirits by Isabelle.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Adela, Adele, what is her last name?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

House of spirits.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

People are gonna know.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

She is like one of those authors that weaves in like the historical,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the human element and the magical, and a lot of like that magical

Laura Shook-Guzman:

realism for me is how I live my life.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I, I love like the magical elements and the unseen and the, you.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Those moments of serendipity or these things that you're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like, that's just magical.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like that's I like to live from a place of awe.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So the books that I like are gonna be more of that magical realism.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Sarah Addison.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

another, yeah, she's another one.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah, yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So like sometimes I can't remember the names of books remember the authors,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but it's like, I know that that is a genre that I really, really love.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so that's kind of indulgent.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like if I get to pick those, those are the books I wanna read on vacation or when

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm traveling and, and now I'm trying to bring them more and more into my life.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So my non-fiction books, like right now, I'm reading the, the myth of normal by G.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and I just finished, you know, no bad parts by Dr.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Schwartz, cuz I'm a big if.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Internal family systems fan.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I use that with my clients.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So that's a little bit about my books.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I know it wasn't too rapid, but I'm

Sonya Stattmann:

No, that's okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

So favorite music or podcasts?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Mm.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So music is really funny because I don't like think when I think about what's my

Laura Shook-Guzman:

favorite music, I go back to my earlier years and I was, I'm a big fan of

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like the nineties, R and B soul music.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So Lauren Hill, Mary J Blu, Macy gray that's like, that's what I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

just wanna put on and roll down my windows and, and drive around.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And, and it takes me back to those years.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I guess those years of my twenties In earlier.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Let's see.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then podcast, I just, I just love so many podcasts, but one of

Laura Shook-Guzman:

the podcasts that I'm referring sharing a lot with friends and clients

Laura Shook-Guzman:

is the meditative story podcast.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's so nice because you're listening to someone tell their story, but then

Laura Shook-Guzman:

it's has music and meditative prompts.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so the facilitator, the, the guide of it, he's really great.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

The host he's really great.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Pulling out these moments and then asking you to reflect on something in your life

Laura Shook-Guzman:

that connects with that person's story.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I really, really enjoy that format.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

It's really interesting.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

One.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Otherwise I'm always just listening to things that have to do with

Laura Shook-Guzman:

entrepreneur mental health and trauma healing and business

Sonya Stattmann:

of course.

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Favorite TV shows

Laura Shook-Guzman:

oh, indulgent ones.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

My daughter and I like to watch like romcoms and oh,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

oh, stranger things though.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I love sci-fi.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I just finished the, the stranger thing series and I wanna re-watch it

Laura Shook-Guzman:

all again, and like, just binge on that.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then I also love to watch shows like Bridger 10 and things

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like that with Sahara, where I'll

Laura Shook-Guzman:

just be like, we

Laura Shook-Guzman:

just, my daughter and I will lay on the couch and watch those

Laura Shook-Guzman:

binge on those kinds of shows.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So,

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

All right.

Sonya Stattmann:

Favorite foods?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Favorite foods.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Okay.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I have to say, I could just say pizza in general, but my favorite is the margarita

Laura Shook-Guzman:

pizza from home slice here in Austin.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Texas.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like when my family knows I've had a hard day, like that's where they're

Laura Shook-Guzman:

like, we bought you home slice

Sonya Stattmann:

I love that.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and I'm like, yes.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And with ranch dressing, cuz that's the thing that we do.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I think it's a Texas thing, ranch dressing.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then Mint chocolate chip ice cream, which actually is the way that you

Laura Shook-Guzman:

and I launched our co-working space is that we used to have meetings.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We'd put the kids to bed when they were there, cuz they were like six years old.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

We'd put them to bed and go to the dining room table with mint,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

chip ice cream and do work.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then we'd go watch like some kind of reality TV

Sonya Stattmann:

Yeah, we did.

Sonya Stattmann:

I love it.

Sonya Stattmann:

That's so good.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

And last rapid fire question, and then we'll wrap up.

Sonya Stattmann:

What's your favorite indulgence?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Mm day spas

Laura Shook-Guzman:

but if I can't afford a fancy day spa, I love day spas, but I will do my own.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm definitely a DIY kind of person like I do.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I'm all about.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Sensory decadents.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So even at home, I've got my essential oils.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I got a portable hot tub that I make my husband take places.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

If we go camping.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Yeah.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I got this idea from another friend of mine.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

She's like, just get the portable hot tub and like go camping

Sonya Stattmann:

Don't what that looks like, but I'm gonna have to see it.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

so like, get your portal, hot tub, get some essential oils.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And then like, I'll just, you know, do all sorts of little.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Spa things I'll even do like the cold towels and put 'em in like

Laura Shook-Guzman:

eucalyptus, just different things, you know, sometimes to give myself

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this feeling of being pampered.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I think that's what I love about spa days is just everything that I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

see is really beautiful and clean and it smells and it feels so good.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And it's just that really the animal body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And that's, I guess, you know why I love working with a body

Laura Shook-Guzman:

because I'd like to be in mind.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

I want to be able to.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Feel connected and feel all of like the pleasure of being in this human body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Like we've got, you know, one shot at it to be in this,

Laura Shook-Guzman:

this body, in this lifetime.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And so I like to treat it, treat my temple well and, and enjoy

Laura Shook-Guzman:

those little spa excursions.

Sonya Stattmann:

That sounds beautiful.

Sonya Stattmann:

Oh, thank you so much, Laura.

Sonya Stattmann:

It was, it was such a pleasure getting to interview you and like, you know, kind

Sonya Stattmann:

of seeing all these threads and ties, especially after knowing you for so long.

Sonya Stattmann:

So I really appreciate you.

Sonya Stattmann:

And is there any last thing you would like to say to the

Sonya Stattmann:

listeners before we wrap up today?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Just that I'm really looking forward to this season and

Laura Shook-Guzman:

reclaiming a relationship to the body.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

And I'm curious, I wanna hear from listeners, you know, in between

Laura Shook-Guzman:

episodes or just, you know, but after this interview questions that people

Laura Shook-Guzman:

have about, well, what does that mean?

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Or, you know, where I can expand and explore and just

Laura Shook-Guzman:

get really curious together.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

So I'm excited about the, the explor.

Sonya Stattmann:

Okay.

Sonya Stattmann:

Awesome.

Sonya Stattmann:

Well, thank you all for listening to us and being here

Sonya Stattmann:

and we'll see you next week.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Well thanks for joining us today, and I

Laura Shook-Guzman:

hope you enjoyed the show.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

If you wanna learn more about this topic, head over to conscious ambition.com.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

You can sign up for my email list so you never miss an episode.

Laura Shook-Guzman:

Have a great day, and we'll see you next time.

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About Sonya Stattmann

Sonya has spent the last 24 years working with thousands of individuals, leaders & organizations around personal development. She offers resilience-based tools for stress management, mental wellness, navigating change, and dealing with relationship challenges. She currently works 1:1 with founders, leaders & high achievers through her stress management coaching program. She also offers wellness & resilience workshops for teams. She also hosts both public and private podcasts. Her mission is to help individuals and teams build more resilience and navigate adversity, change & stress more effectively. She currently resides in the USA, but you can often find her and her family traveling the globe.