Do you feel overwhelmed by to-dos, must-haves, and can’t-forgets? You’re in the grip of The Muchness! Sonya and Emily break down how The Muchness sneaks up on us, how it can sap our sense of purpose, and how focusing on meaning can help us rise above it.
Join us as we discuss:
- 22:43 How trauma builds survival strategies, and what to do after those strategies are no longer helpful.
- 31:18 Differences in capacity to handle muchness, and how to navigate those differences without judgment.
- 44:12 Tools to fight overwhelm and focus on the things that really matter.
Resources mentioned in the show:
- Author and Speaker Byron Katie https://thework.com/
Learn more about Sonya & Emily:
—> Sonya Stattmann is the host & creator of Reclaiming Ourselves™. She is a TEDx & corporate speaker and has been working with leaders around personal development for the last 22 years. She teaches workshops & offers small group programs around emotional intelligence, transformational & embodied leadership, and energy management. You can find more about her here:
Website: https://www.sonyastattmann.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonyastattmann/
—> Emily Soccorsy [So-KOR-SEE], co-host of Reclaiming Ourselves, believes branding is how people experience what you believe. As owner and CEO of Root + River, a brand strategy team, Emily uses her talents to help leaders uncover the foundations of their brand: message, audience, differentiators, and overall brand strategy. She’s also an author, speaker, poet, artist, and mom of two daughters (and a 130-pound Great Pyrenees named Archie) and partner to her husband of over 20 years. You can find more about her here:
Website: https://rootandriver.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/emilysoccorsy/
What you can do next:
- For more episodes, opportunities and information on the hosts, visit http://reclaimingourselvespodcast.com/
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Thank you for being you. We are so honored to have you as a listener!
Transcript
for decades I compared myself to everyone else in business
Sonya Stattmann:and everyone else succeeding and everyone else dealing with the muchness.
Sonya Stattmann:And I was like, why can.
Sonya Stattmann:I do that, I must be inadequate because I need more space.
Sonya Stattmann:I must be inadequate cuz I'm more exhausted when something happens.
Sonya Stattmann:And I think we have to adjust and talk about that every being is really
Sonya Stattmann:different and that everybody's blueprint is really different and everybody's
Sonya Stattmann:energy level is really different.
Sonya Stattmann:Everybody's capacity is different because I think that is an important discussion to
Sonya Stattmann:have
Emily Soccorsy:Yes, I think it's really vital that we understand how we want
Emily Soccorsy:to interact and what our capacity is.
Emily Soccorsy:And then, and you know, shout out to all the emotional sensitive beings
Emily Soccorsy:in the world because I'm with you.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm the same like I was telling someone yesterday, like it's
Emily Soccorsy:just hard to be me in the world sometimes cause I'm feeling it all.
Sonya Stattmann:If you know there is something deep inside of you
Sonya Stattmann:that is yearning to be seen, to be known, and to have expression.
Sonya Stattmann:If there's something you need to reclaim and remember: maybe it's your
Sonya Stattmann:power or your purpose, your gifts.
Sonya Stattmann:This is the podcast for you.
Sonya Stattmann:Welcome to Reclaiming Ourselves.
Sonya Stattmann:I'm your host, Sonya Stattmann and I'm honored to have three amazing
Sonya Stattmann:co-hosts, Laura Shook-Guzman, Belinda Haan, and Emily Soccorsy, here with
Sonya Stattmann:me on this journey to self discovery.
Sonya Stattmann:Every week we're gonna help you unravel and remember what it means to reclaim
Sonya Stattmann:yourself, to own who you are, to recognize your innate worth and greatness.
Sonya Stattmann:Now this podcast is a deep dive into self-development,
Sonya Stattmann:healing, and empowerment.
Sonya Stattmann:So hold on.
Sonya Stattmann:Here we go.
Sonya Stattmann:Hey, and welcome back to reclaiming ourselves!
Sonya Stattmann:I'm so excited today because we've got you know an amazing episode, and
Sonya Stattmann:I've got Emily Soccorsy here which I'm very excited about and we're
Sonya Stattmann:gonna kind of explore and unpack and talk about kind of a couple things.
Sonya Stattmann:Something that she really describes as the muchness, and
Sonya Stattmann:I'm gonna let her define that.
Sonya Stattmann:And we're gonna kind of unpack what that is.
Sonya Stattmann:But also the importance of words, right?
Sonya Stattmann:And how words kind of frame and un frame our lives.
Sonya Stattmann:How we really are able to use them to define things and also to let go of, of
Sonya Stattmann:defining things and to undefine things.
Sonya Stattmann:And I think this is a really important part of reclaiming ourselves.
Sonya Stattmann:And so that's what we're gonna kind.
Sonya Stattmann:Floor today.
Sonya Stattmann:So welcome Emily.
Sonya Stattmann:So excited for our conversation.
Sonya Stattmann:Can you share a little bit more about the topic?
Emily Soccorsy:Absolutely.
Emily Soccorsy:So.
Emily Soccorsy:I guess a few years ago, I started to notice this theme and particularly
Emily Soccorsy:like kind of leading up to the pandemic and then the absence or a, a
Emily Soccorsy:rejiggering of it during the pandemic.
Emily Soccorsy:And then afterwards when we kind of started transitioning back into a new.
Emily Soccorsy:Way of living.
Emily Soccorsy:people would, friends or acquaintances or clients, they kind of come to
Emily Soccorsy:me and dump out their backpack.
Emily Soccorsy:You know, I've got this and I've got this and I've got the work and I've got.
Emily Soccorsy:My relationships and I have on top of all of that normal human stuff, I
Emily Soccorsy:was began to notice this layer of the digital demands, that we were living in.
Emily Soccorsy:And I just kind of started offhandedly referring to that as the muchness Because
Emily Soccorsy:I kept saying to these friends like it's just so much, or it's a lot, you know, I
Emily Soccorsy:would listen and I, and I would just hold the space for them and just empathize
Emily Soccorsy:so deeply and just say, It's so much.
Emily Soccorsy:And I just began to notice that what I'm calling them muchness is really this.
Emily Soccorsy:Pressure filled, demand, rich connection, craving reality of modern life
Emily Soccorsy:that really has not existed before.
Emily Soccorsy:And, I dug into it deeper, did more research and.
Emily Soccorsy:It's not just an experience, but it's something that scientists
Emily Soccorsy:have been looking at and tracking.
Emily Soccorsy:we get 4,000 to 6,000 requests for our immediate action.
Emily Soccorsy:Every single day layer on top of that, another study, we process 74
Emily Soccorsy:gigabytes of information every day.
Emily Soccorsy:that's the equivalent of watching 16 movies.
Sonya Stattmann:Wow.
Sonya Stattmann:That's like so much,
Emily Soccorsy:it's so much, right?
Emily Soccorsy:The muchness.
Emily Soccorsy:So our focus is so bombarded, and.
Emily Soccorsy:Really the muchness is sort of made up of these three key things.
Emily Soccorsy:I think the muchness is constant demands.
Emily Soccorsy:Those constant demands for our attention and action and ever increasing
Emily Soccorsy:expectation for how we should be living, should be doing, um, should be
Emily Soccorsy:hitting standards and then consistent urgency around all of these things.
Emily Soccorsy:So,
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:Those three things are really what I started to look at kind of
Emily Soccorsy:combining, creating this, this force field around all of us that I call the muchness.
Emily Soccorsy:So that's a little, that's a little bit of background on that.
Sonya Stattmann:I love it.
Sonya Stattmann:And you know what I think is so interesting?
Sonya Stattmann:I mean, I do so much kind of study around turning inward, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Responding kind of inward.
Sonya Stattmann:But the muchness is really all the things externally that is pulling
Sonya Stattmann:our attention, pulling our, energy, pulling our focus and where is their?
Sonya Stattmann:to turn right?
Sonya Stattmann:Where is there time to look at ourselves or feel what we feel?
Sonya Stattmann:Because there's so much, demands, as you said, you know, outside
Sonya Stattmann:of us calling for our attention.
Sonya Stattmann:I think so many people can relate to this idea, you know, how and how do we
Sonya Stattmann:reclaim ourselves as kind of what I wanna tie in later how do we reclaim ourselves
Sonya Stattmann:in an age where we are just constantly.
Sonya Stattmann:Being bombarded constantly on demand.
Sonya Stattmann:and , I think there's some things in that processing part too, right?
Sonya Stattmann:If we're processing so much information externally, you
Sonya Stattmann:know, is that even possible?
Sonya Stattmann:Is that even possible for our human body, for our brain, for our nervous
Sonya Stattmann:system to process all that information?
Emily Soccorsy:Right.
Emily Soccorsy:I mean, that's what it, you know, and as people were expressing to
Emily Soccorsy:me what was going on with them, it was just a sense of, yeah, I can't
Emily Soccorsy:even get to the reflective state.
Emily Soccorsy:Because when we are in the muchness and we are allowing that to dictate and define
Emily Soccorsy:who we are because, and we can get into this too, there's also this comparison.
Emily Soccorsy:There's this keeping up pressure We are unable to process, have
Emily Soccorsy:reflective thinking, have deep thinking, and to be in our feelings.
Emily Soccorsy:because we are, we are in response mode.
Emily Soccorsy:It limits us to dealing with the present response mode and literally
Emily Soccorsy:our brains only have so much energy and we prioritize the most pressing task.
Emily Soccorsy:And so we have a finite amount of energy and so it's, it's
Emily Soccorsy:to what is in front of us.
Emily Soccorsy:So the deeper things, and this isn't part of the work that we do with our
Emily Soccorsy:branding work, and one of the, one of the rules we have is, is to hold space.
Emily Soccorsy:And that doesn't mean just, when we're working together, let's be focused.
Emily Soccorsy:It means let's be focused enough that you can allow those err thoughts,
Emily Soccorsy:feelings, and emotions that in the muchness of everyday life we, we push.
Emily Soccorsy:And what I have found over the years in, in trying to discover, rediscover,
Emily Soccorsy:reclaim who I am is we can spend a lot of time in the pressing and the
Emily Soccorsy:urgent, but the truth, the elemental, you really resides in those what seemed
Emily Soccorsy:to be irrelevant, maybe thoughts or.
Emily Soccorsy:inconvenient feelings that are coming up that we immediately suppress to handle
Emily Soccorsy:what is most urgent in front of us.
Sonya Stattmann:God, there's like so many threads I wanna pull here, right?
Sonya Stattmann:And so many ties into, you know, some of the things that I've learned
Sonya Stattmann:over my career and lifetime as well.
Sonya Stattmann:And like, urgency is really about perception, right?
Sonya Stattmann:And so when we perceive something as urgent, then just like you said,
Sonya Stattmann:we're focused in that response.
Sonya Stattmann:Now I would call that like the sympathetic system.
Emily Soccorsy:Mm-hmm.
Sonya Stattmann:Versus the parasympathetic system of the
Sonya Stattmann:nervous system and how, if that's our fight or flight or freeze, that's
Sonya Stattmann:that part that's always needing to respond to things and it is actually
Sonya Stattmann:not sustainable to live in that.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:Like I just did recently a talk on burnout, and one of the things
Sonya Stattmann:we talked about is that, as we're.
Sonya Stattmann:engaged in that constant urgency and that constant demand stage, and our bodies, our
Sonya Stattmann:physiology is literally attuned to that.
Sonya Stattmann:We can't relax, we can't, you know, minimize burnout.
Sonya Stattmann:Like it's inevitable that burnout will come because as physical beings, we're
Sonya Stattmann:literally not wired to be able to handle.
Sonya Stattmann:Constant demands like that.
Sonya Stattmann:So it's really interesting to, to kind of tie that in to what you're talking about
Sonya Stattmann:because Yeah, how do we navigate that when all of us are feeling it, right?
Sonya Stattmann:We're feeling the pull, we're feeling the perceived urgency.
Sonya Stattmann:It's what the universe has told us we have to do.
Sonya Stattmann:You know, not the universe per se, but society and you know, all
Sonya Stattmann:of the things we see, technology, marketing, you know, all of it.
Emily Soccorsy:and it's been built to very intentionally to draw us back in and
Emily Soccorsy:to create that sense of, if we leave these spaces, We will be missing out, right?
Emily Soccorsy:We will be less connected when I have found the opposite to be true, that
Emily Soccorsy:I get more connected to my truth.
Emily Soccorsy:When I leave those spaces.
Emily Soccorsy:a funny thing happened, and this is sort of was a moment too in developing the
Emily Soccorsy:language of the muchness was I saw, took my daughter to see Ready Player One.
Emily Soccorsy:And I don't know if you've seen that film, but it depicts a world in the future
Emily Soccorsy:where most people are spending their time in an, in a virtual reality environment.
Emily Soccorsy:And, um, It was really poignant for me, and I just thought, okay, if that's the
Emily Soccorsy:direction that the world is heading, I'm scared, but I'm also like, I see that,
Emily Soccorsy:and I think for me there's a choice, which is am I going to live in this
Emily Soccorsy:world, like the tangible world or if that's a way we're all gonna go, Like,
Emily Soccorsy:I really wanna choose to live in this world for as long as possible, and.
Emily Soccorsy:I feel like It's fine if, if you feel really seen in virtual spaces.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm not making a judgment on people, but I think the important thing for me
Emily Soccorsy:is to, for all of us to be mindful of how the muchness, how, the other world.
Emily Soccorsy:The influence it has on us, what it does to us physically and our bodies, how it
Emily Soccorsy:stresses our brain, because that is then connected to the sense of fulfillment
Emily Soccorsy:and meaning that we have in our lives.
Emily Soccorsy:For some reasons.
Emily Soccorsy:That's not always connecting for people, and it's like, Oh, is there so much?
Emily Soccorsy:But then I'm on Facebook five times a day and it's like, Well, that's a
Emily Soccorsy:conscious choice or an unconscious choice.
Emily Soccorsy:That is really dictated a lot by the technology and it's very intentional
Emily Soccorsy:way of drawing you back in and, and that's, that's the technology
Emily Soccorsy:technology's job to draw us back in.
Emily Soccorsy:It is our job to thoughtfully, mindfully say, Actually, do I wanna engage there?
Emily Soccorsy:Do I want to use my energy?
Emily Soccorsy:in that mode, how can I maybe do it a little bit less?
Emily Soccorsy:How can I resist much since today or set it aside and really actually
Emily Soccorsy:get involved with what is real and what is the more connected to the
Emily Soccorsy:self reality that I wanna live from?
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah, I love that.
Sonya Stattmann:And I, I wonder like, what does it take for that?
Sonya Stattmann:Like one of the things I've been kind of contemplating.
Sonya Stattmann:We have these kind of inherent needs, right?
Sonya Stattmann:And, and of course we need water and food and air, but we also sort of need
Sonya Stattmann:these inherent needs of belonging, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Of dignity or worthiness, right, of safety.
Sonya Stattmann:And sometimes I wonder if.
Sonya Stattmann:We're lacking so much of that in our day to day life that we try to use
Sonya Stattmann:technology or in particular social media.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:I think this is a, this conversation really lends itself to talking
Sonya Stattmann:about social media and, you know, we, we have this false sense.
Sonya Stattmann:Of belonging, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Or we have this false sense of worthiness depending on how we put
Sonya Stattmann:ourselves out there or who connects to us, or you know, who praises
Sonya Stattmann:us or who gives us a thumbs up.
Sonya Stattmann:And so, you know, I think it's really interesting to navigate
Sonya Stattmann:like, what is the, you know, answer.
Sonya Stattmann:And this is a complex problem, right?
Sonya Stattmann:So there's no like, you know, one answer, but, how?
Sonya Stattmann:Do we kind of navigate that because I think there's so many
Sonya Stattmann:internal needs that need to be met.
Sonya Stattmann:So many like alternative ways to look at the psychology behind why
Sonya Stattmann:we choose, you know, social media.
Sonya Stattmann:I mean there's, you know, all these kind of different threads, but I think
Sonya Stattmann:that's a really important thing to explore because so many people I feel
Sonya Stattmann:like come and say, you should just get off social media like you should.
Sonya Stattmann:Turn it all off, you know?
Sonya Stattmann:And that's great and easy to say, and we all work towards that.
Sonya Stattmann:And some of us are more capable of, you know, just saying no or just turning
Sonya Stattmann:it off or just creating a boundary.
Sonya Stattmann:But there's a lot of pull, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Unconsciously and psychologically and all of the stuff.
Sonya Stattmann:And just like you said, it's very deliberate, but how do we.
Sonya Stattmann:Address those things that are, you know, very tied to needs, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Very tied to perceived or real needs.
Sonya Stattmann:Um, I think that's such an important part of this conversation because you
Sonya Stattmann:know, you'll hear a lot of people, and I say this to people all the
Sonya Stattmann:time, like, yes, we know that we should be turning our electronics off.
Sonya Stattmann:We know we should not be on Facebook all day.
Sonya Stattmann:We know these things, and yet we're still doing them.
Sonya Stattmann:Why is that?
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah, I think that's the, the starting question, and
Emily Soccorsy:we can be gentle and compassionate as we look at that for ourselves.
Emily Soccorsy:One idea that, you know, that comes to mind is, is really getting conscious
Emily Soccorsy:of what am I getting from this?
Emily Soccorsy:And not in a, what are you getting out of it?
Emily Soccorsy:Sort of judgy mindset, but honestly like, When we're engaging or, and
Emily Soccorsy:it, it doesn't, I, I also don't wanna just make it about technology.
Emily Soccorsy:It's about the combination of the demands in our.
Emily Soccorsy:Physical lives, the emotional demands, and then the addition of this other
Emily Soccorsy:domain where we feel pressure to show that, and then engage in that way.
Emily Soccorsy:So it's really the combination.
Emily Soccorsy:But in terms of looking just at like social media or, or interactivity,
Emily Soccorsy:really being honest with like, Okay, I'm going to spend a week or a few
Emily Soccorsy:days just noticing my emotional state when I come into those spaces.
Emily Soccorsy:My energetic state, where's my energy at this moment when I begin?
Emily Soccorsy:And then where does my energy end up when I finish?
Emily Soccorsy:And just observe that.
Emily Soccorsy:Just observe that for a week.
Emily Soccorsy:Uh, observe where your emotions go throughout that time.
Emily Soccorsy:What is the, what is the arc?
Emily Soccorsy:What's the trajectory?
Emily Soccorsy:What's the, pattern?
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah
Emily Soccorsy:and then, you know, really get reflective of.
Emily Soccorsy:I did this once.
Emily Soccorsy:I was like, I, I noticed that I was going into Instagram's, one
Emily Soccorsy:of the platforms that I am on.
Emily Soccorsy:anytime I felt disheartened or discouraged, so I was entering that space
Emily Soccorsy:feeling like, It was the early days of my business, like feeling disheartened,
Emily Soccorsy:feeling discouraged, and I went there looking for inspiration, um, signs.
Emily Soccorsy:I went there looking for encouragement and um, That's fine, that's fine.
Emily Soccorsy:It's just, I'm noticing.
Emily Soccorsy:And then I realized that I.
Emily Soccorsy:Sometimes I found that and I was like, Yeah, that's so encouraging.
Emily Soccorsy:And it gave me a little energy boost and then I could carry on.
Emily Soccorsy:And sometimes I found if I didn't find something, I was like, it dropped.
Emily Soccorsy:You know, those emotional states even lower, and I could almost bottom out
Emily Soccorsy:and feeling drained, feeling like I didn't wanna go back into the work.
Emily Soccorsy:And so that was really eye opening for.
Emily Soccorsy:And I realize too, and I think this is the tricky thing about the digital space,
Emily Soccorsy:is that it feels so personal, right?
Emily Soccorsy:It feels you're following these people, you feel connected to their stories.
Emily Soccorsy:And me as an empath, as a super empathetic person, I'm like
Emily Soccorsy:inserting myself into their stories.
Emily Soccorsy:So it's so personal, but the reality is it is not per, it is not coming from within.
Emily Soccorsy:It is not personal in that it.
Emily Soccorsy:it is one's own truth or one's own compass.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:So there is a blurring of the line there, um, that I think is just
Emily Soccorsy:again, important to be really aware of.
Emily Soccorsy:And what I realized as I came through that experience, I was like, I think I need
Emily Soccorsy:to be looking within in those moments.
Emily Soccorsy:or taking a walk outside in those moments, or petting my dog for two minutes,
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:because I don't want to have that up and down, and I don't want
Emily Soccorsy:my emotional state to be so affected by what I happen to scroll through or not.
Emily Soccorsy:That seemed like I was almost placing my wellbeing in the
Emily Soccorsy:randomness of the algorithm.
Emily Soccorsy:Logically, as I stepped back from it, I was like, I don't really
Emily Soccorsy:wanna be dependent in that way.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah, I mean, I think that's amazing.
Sonya Stattmann:I've done a lot of that kind of reflection and observation about, you
Sonya Stattmann:know, how I engage with technology, what it, what it is for me, you know?
Sonya Stattmann:And you know, honestly, I have disengaged a lot from social media and yet, As much
Sonya Stattmann:as I'd like to disengage completely, I still feel like I have to be there.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:Like it's still this.
Sonya Stattmann:Interesting and, and you know, as I talk to more and more people, as I have
Sonya Stattmann:worked with clients, so many people feel kind of that same thing, you know?
Sonya Stattmann:And as I've exported myself, I feel like there's a, a sense of.
Sonya Stattmann:This idea, It's a concept really, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Cause it's, I don't think it's felt, I don't think it's like a
Sonya Stattmann:felt sense or an embodied sense of it, but on a concept level, I feel
Sonya Stattmann:like, Ooh, I belong if I'm there.
Sonya Stattmann:If I'm not there, I'm isolated.
Sonya Stattmann:Right?
Sonya Stattmann:There's this sense of, of or fear, really, of isolation.
Sonya Stattmann:And yet I find I'm very disc.
Sonya Stattmann:To like, I'm not very connected when I'm on social And again, you
Sonya Stattmann:know, as you were just saying, this is not about the technology.
Sonya Stattmann:Technology can be used for beautiful things and amazing relationships and
Sonya Stattmann:all kinds It's just what is it for us?
Sonya Stattmann:How are we utilizing it?
Sonya Stattmann:What are we going to it for?
Sonya Stattmann:How are we responding to it?
Sonya Stattmann:what is the personal reflection?
Sonya Stattmann:And I find for myself, Yeah, there's a lot of disconnection there, and yet
Sonya Stattmann:I still feel like I have to be there.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:And
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah, that's that pressure, like there's that societal pressure to
Emily Soccorsy:be there, to be findable, to be available, to connect, to be available,
Emily Soccorsy:to have a sense of belonging.
Emily Soccorsy:, and again, it seeps out into other relationships and I.
Emily Soccorsy:My girl, my children are older, and I'm grateful for that
Emily Soccorsy:because I do feel the pressure.
Emily Soccorsy:It just seems to be, again, ever increasing to show what
Emily Soccorsy:we're doing in our lives.
Emily Soccorsy:in a digital realm.
Emily Soccorsy:and that's untenable as you said, like our bodies can't handle it, . Um, and so
Emily Soccorsy:I actually, lately I've been speaking to a lot of young people in their twenties
Emily Soccorsy:and early thirties and there there is a lot more disengagement and there's
Emily Soccorsy:a lot more recognition of, actually, I'm not trying the dating apps, I'm
Emily Soccorsy:just actually dating or trying to date.
Emily Soccorsy:And that's hard because we've been trained as a culture now to, to go there.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm not.
Emily Soccorsy:Bad or good.
Emily Soccorsy:We, and we really need, let me just say this too.
Emily Soccorsy:Our, our tendency as human beings is to say, Oh, the muchness, that's bad.
Emily Soccorsy:That's the enemy.
Emily Soccorsy:No, it is the soup.
Emily Soccorsy:We are in
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:it is a phenomenon and it is all in how we interact with it and how
Emily Soccorsy:we say, Oh gosh, today I just got lost.
Emily Soccorsy:It was a lot, you know, and, and I need to now take a step back to process that.
Emily Soccorsy:or like, you know what?
Emily Soccorsy:I'm going all in for this week cuz we have a, you know, whatever it
Emily Soccorsy:is, we have a launch coming up or I get a birthday and I just wanna blow
Emily Soccorsy:this out and share it, that's great.
Emily Soccorsy:And that it's not a bad thing.
Emily Soccorsy:But if we don't name it, this goes to the power of language.
Emily Soccorsy:If we don't name it, if we don't see that it's coming at us from a lot of
Emily Soccorsy:different angles, we're not aware, then we can never really wrestle it to the
Emily Soccorsy:place where it's meant to be in our lives.
Emily Soccorsy:and then allow ourselves, and I think this is really relevant to reclaiming,
Sonya Stattmann:Mm-hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:it's so incredibly important to tune into our inner knowing
Emily Soccorsy:as part of a process of reclaiming, and we are so pressured, to do otherwise.
Emily Soccorsy:And so, again, putting words around what this, these forces are that make
Emily Soccorsy:us feel uncomfortable or discouraged or really excited and then really dejected.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:Well, and I think it's so tied in, I mean, I currently am doing a lot
Sonya Stattmann:of study around trauma right Right.
Sonya Stattmann:And our trauma responses are really our survival strategies, right?
Sonya Stattmann:So that, you know, back to kind of that sympathetic system, know, we have
Sonya Stattmann:particular ways we respond to stress.
Sonya Stattmann:We have particular ways that we respond to things coming at us.
Sonya Stattmann:And one of the things about reclaiming our.
Sonya Stattmann:Is healing some of those survival strategies or navigating some of those
Sonya Stattmann:survival strategies so that we are able to more fully experience our lives, right?
Sonya Stattmann:If we're always engaged in these survival strategies, oftentimes they're
Sonya Stattmann:first of all not sustainable, you know, not always helpful to our lives.
Sonya Stattmann:They limit our experience often, and so some of that in terms of reclaiming our.
Sonya Stattmann:Is, you know, having a broader experience with life, having
Sonya Stattmann:more aliveness in our lives.
Sonya Stattmann:And what I see with the muchness is, there's nothing wrong with the muchness.
Sonya Stattmann:It is what it is.
Sonya Stattmann:But the thing is, is it engages our trauma patterns, our survival strategies, right?
Sonya Stattmann:So the more pressure we feel, the more demands we feel,
Sonya Stattmann:that's where we can really see.
Sonya Stattmann:Do we lean in, Do.
Sonya Stattmann:Flee, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Do we appease?
Sonya Stattmann:Cuz that's another survival strategy.
Sonya Stattmann:Do we dissociate?
Sonya Stattmann:I know that I dissociate a lot when I feel pressure.
Sonya Stattmann:I don't like that feeling.
Sonya Stattmann:I don't like the demands.
Sonya Stattmann:Anytime anything is demanded of me, I will start to dissociate.
Sonya Stattmann:I will numb out.
Sonya Stattmann:I will do something so that I'm not feeling that.
Sonya Stattmann:And so I think that is a really important kind of intersection
Sonya Stattmann:that we need to talk about.
Sonya Stattmann:It's, it's not the muchness in and of itself.
Sonya Stattmann:It's what happens when we feel it and how do we respond and engage.
Emily Soccorsy:Yes, exactly.
Emily Soccorsy:So one of the things that came up as a result of the muchness
Emily Soccorsy:is this, uh, phenomenon called in Intentional Blindness.
Emily Soccorsy:And I have experienced this myself where I'm like, Okay, I'm done for the day.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm shutting my office door, I'm engaging in the real world.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm gonna help my daughter with her homework, or I'm just gonna
Emily Soccorsy:be, you know, I'm making dinner, or she's working on something and
Emily Soccorsy:she's talking to me and I'm like, My intention is to be present and listen.
Emily Soccorsy:but my mind is still in that demand response mode, so literally
Emily Soccorsy:I can feel my attention being.
Emily Soccorsy:In a different direction.
Emily Soccorsy:And, and so it's basically the term for when we, something is happening
Emily Soccorsy:right in front of us and we are in unable to focus and to process.
Emily Soccorsy:So that happens, and that happens even when you're intending to be present.
Emily Soccorsy:Another thing that it is, it just fractures us, right?
Emily Soccorsy:So we are, we are fractured.
Emily Soccorsy:we are like, Oh, we're, we're doing this and we're doing that,
Emily Soccorsy:and we're doing, we're here.
Emily Soccorsy:So our, our sense of ourselves also can get fractured into
Emily Soccorsy:this is who I am in this venue.
Emily Soccorsy:This is who I am in this space, this is who we wanna be on this platform.
Emily Soccorsy:And I fall into that really easy as a brand strategist.
Emily Soccorsy:I help clients understand who they are, and I'm like, there's one person
Emily Soccorsy:and there's one brand, and it does get represented continuously, but I
Emily Soccorsy:still even fall into the pattern of, yeah, but what's our strategy here?
Emily Soccorsy:And that can lead to fracturing.
Emily Soccorsy:It also really, really, uh, impacts our ability to make decisions.
Emily Soccorsy:And I find this during the pandemic.
Emily Soccorsy:I think the, one of the hardest things in this may sound so silly, but was
Emily Soccorsy:like deciding what to have for dinner.
Emily Soccorsy:in those early days, the pandemic where it was crisis mode
Sonya Stattmann:Mm-hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:by two o'clock, maybe even earlier than that,
Emily Soccorsy:might, I could not make a decision
Sonya Stattmann:Mm-hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:My husband couldn't, he was kind of frontline.
Emily Soccorsy:And so we wouldn't eat dinner till like nine o'clock at night.
Emily Soccorsy:Like the result of that was no one can make a choice.
Emily Soccorsy:And we are only really able to make a certain number of
Emily Soccorsy:decisions during the day.
Emily Soccorsy:And so the muchness definitely impacts that.
Emily Soccorsy:Um, and I think the other thing for me, I, I've realized over
Emily Soccorsy:the years is just that it.
Emily Soccorsy:The tendency, the recurring threat of just falling into feeling inadequate.
Sonya Stattmann:Hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:and that goes to your comment about worthiness, you know?
Emily Soccorsy:And then when you get thoughtful about that, it's like, do I wanna
Emily Soccorsy:expose myself or do I wanna be completely open to a world or a
Emily Soccorsy:force that makes me feel inadequate because my natural status is to.
Emily Soccorsy:unfortunately, and that's something I'm aware of too, but I think that
Emily Soccorsy:those are like very clear impacts and it can, can really erode our,
Emily Soccorsy:our, because of all those things, fracturing, lack of decision making.
Emily Soccorsy:and then, you know, just that sense of ourselves gets worn away over time.
Emily Soccorsy:Um, if we're not, if we're not really aware of, of it.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:Gosh, I can relate in.
Sonya Stattmann:So in so many ways, right?
Sonya Stattmann:I can relate to the dinner thing.
Sonya Stattmann:I think a lot of people will be able to relate to that, right?
Sonya Stattmann:I know that on my longer work days, I just have made a decision to stop.
Sonya Stattmann:Doing dinner, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Like I just don't make dinner so someone else can decide to get dinner out or
Sonya Stattmann:everybody can fend for themselves.
Sonya Stattmann:I have fend, fend for yourselves night.
Sonya Stattmann:If I'm working late, I can't make decisions cuz by the time I get
Sonya Stattmann:done I don't have that capacity.
Sonya Stattmann:And that's, you know, it's interesting to start to look at, you know,
Sonya Stattmann:what is my capacity for the much.
Emily Soccorsy:Mm
Sonya Stattmann:You know, and, and I think that's really
Sonya Stattmann:different for every individual.
Sonya Stattmann:I know for myself, I can hold a lot less outside demands
Sonya Stattmann:than maybe the average person.
Sonya Stattmann:I will, you know, get to an inability to make decisions.
Sonya Stattmann:I will get cranky, I will get, I just.
Sonya Stattmann:I just don't enjoy life, right?
Sonya Stattmann:The more I have to do and I need a tremendous amount of space,
Sonya Stattmann:I need a tremendous amount of energy and time focused inward.
Sonya Stattmann:And so for me, like limiting the muchness has had to be a survival strategy, right?
Sonya Stattmann:To, to limit how exposed I am to energy, you know, being an empath
Sonya Stattmann:as well, being an introvert.
Sonya Stattmann:I'm highly sensitive to outside demands.
Sonya Stattmann:I'm highly sensitive to outside, you know, noise and sound and you know,
Sonya Stattmann:vision and you know, all of the things that so much of us have to experience.
Sonya Stattmann:And so I've had to learn to do that.
Sonya Stattmann:And I think.
Sonya Stattmann:I look at my daughter, my, my youngest daughter who's very extroverted and you
Sonya Stattmann:know, like she needs constant stimulation.
Sonya Stattmann:so for her, she can handle the muchness to a higher than I can.
Sonya Stattmann:And you know, so I think that's an interesting point or
Sonya Stattmann:something to talk about as well.
Sonya Stattmann:So many of us compare ourselves.
Sonya Stattmann:I mean, for decades I compared myself to everyone else in business and
Sonya Stattmann:everyone else succeeding and everyone else dealing with the muchness.
Sonya Stattmann:And I was like, why can.
Sonya Stattmann:I do that, I must be inadequate because I need more space.
Sonya Stattmann:I must be inadequate cuz I'm more exhausted when something happens.
Sonya Stattmann:And I think we have to adjust and talk about that every being is really
Sonya Stattmann:different and that everybody's blueprint is really different and everybody's
Sonya Stattmann:energy level is really different.
Sonya Stattmann:Everybody's capacity is different because I think that is an important discussion to
Sonya Stattmann:have
Emily Soccorsy:Yes, I think it's really vital that we understand how we want
Emily Soccorsy:to interact and what our capacity is.
Emily Soccorsy:And then, and you know, shout out to all the emotional sensitive beings
Emily Soccorsy:in the world because I'm with you.
Emily Soccorsy:I'm the same like I was telling someone yesterday, like it's
Emily Soccorsy:just hard to be me in the world sometimes cause I'm feeling it all.
Emily Soccorsy:And you're allowed to have those, those days and moments.
Emily Soccorsy:But I think you bring up a great point.
Emily Soccorsy:the way we live in the soup of the muchness, it impacts
Emily Soccorsy:our relationships as well.
Emily Soccorsy:And um, you know, your daughter's one way.
Emily Soccorsy:And so just knowing that, knowing that she has like a longer,
Emily Soccorsy:uh, capacity there is good.
Emily Soccorsy:But also knowing that, well, I don't , so another example is my husband has, is
Emily Soccorsy:more of an extrovert and he can be.
Emily Soccorsy:Cooking dinner with the football game on and the radio and like music literally.
Emily Soccorsy:And my daughter, my younger daughter, and I look at each
Emily Soccorsy:other and we're like, Oh my God.
Emily Soccorsy:Like it's too much.
Emily Soccorsy:But he's in his happy place.
Emily Soccorsy:He's, he's got all of the things.
Emily Soccorsy:So, but that could very easily be like, angering and that can, you know,
Emily Soccorsy:trigger responses and lead to conflict.
Emily Soccorsy:but instead it's like, okay, well we're gonna let this be, Maybe she
Emily Soccorsy:and I will take a walk or go in her room and do something quiet.
Emily Soccorsy:And allowing people to, to process in their own way.
Emily Soccorsy:So I think that's another aspect of it and not.
Emily Soccorsy:I'll raise my hand too, not being judgemental.
Emily Soccorsy:Um, because it's really easy to say, Well, why are they always doing this?
Emily Soccorsy:Or they're always on social this way, or they're always behaving in this manner.
Emily Soccorsy:but if you're more aware and confident in your own, like, this is for me
Emily Soccorsy:and that's for them, and that's okay.
Emily Soccorsy:And we can find ways to meet in the middle or just say, Hey, you know
Emily Soccorsy:what, We've been listening to the music and the radio for a while now, can I.
Emily Soccorsy:One of 'em off . Oh, okay.
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:You know, just making ourselves more aware of one another.
Emily Soccorsy:But I think without that layer of awareness, it can definitely lead to,
Emily Soccorsy:to conflict and to distancing, which doesn't necessarily have to be there.
Sonya Stattmann:Yes.
Sonya Stattmann:So, So would you say that overall the muchness is disconnecting?
Sonya Stattmann:Or is it all just about how we navigate it?
Sonya Stattmann:cuz I think about is it disconnecting to our inner selves, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Or the self were reclaiming, is it disconnecting in our relat.
Sonya Stattmann:You know, Or does it just depend like you, you know, we were
Sonya Stattmann:just talking about who you are.
Sonya Stattmann:so for some of us, the muchness is disconnecting and for some
Sonya Stattmann:of us it might be connecting.
Sonya Stattmann:Right?
Sonya Stattmann:I think it's an interesting
Emily Soccorsy:I think it's an interesting question and I do think
Emily Soccorsy:we have to just take a look at it, see how it shows up for you.
Emily Soccorsy:Maybe it's this is less significant for you, or maybe if you observe
Emily Soccorsy:like, how am I feeling on a scale of overwhelming or, Gosh, I do
Emily Soccorsy:realize my decision making really.
Emily Soccorsy:Goes by the wayside at the end of the day.
Emily Soccorsy:Um, or I'm making easier decisions at the end of the day, right?
Emily Soccorsy:And so that leads to, oh, maybe I'm eating chips when I really set
Emily Soccorsy:an intention to be eating carrots.
Emily Soccorsy:You know?
Emily Soccorsy:And so there's little things like that.
Emily Soccorsy:And I think to answer your question, like I guess I have a core belief.
Emily Soccorsy:It doesn't mean I'm right that my own humanity, my own
Emily Soccorsy:sense of intuition, my own.
Emily Soccorsy:Ability to connect to my wisdom that I've been taught and that I've been
Emily Soccorsy:internalized as truth for me or I've I've been given is the base I wanna come from.
Emily Soccorsy:And so
Emily Soccorsy:to be connected to that, I know that I have to step away.
Emily Soccorsy:On occasion and limit, and that feels right to me.
Emily Soccorsy:So for me, I, I, I do think it depends, but I think if your life is just spent
Emily Soccorsy:in the muchness and there's no sliver of that time and space to do the connecting
Emily Soccorsy:to yourself, that would be a really difficult way to live, truly to who you
Emily Soccorsy:are and very easy to get lost in that.
Emily Soccorsy:And that's seductive and it's seducive.
Emily Soccorsy:If my children, if one of my children were spending all of their time kind
Emily Soccorsy:of meeting all these demands and being everywhere, I would be very concerned.
Emily Soccorsy:I guess that's a good way to frame it, Sonya.
Emily Soccorsy:It's like, I would be concerned about that.
Emily Soccorsy:I would wanna have some really deep talks about what are you getting?
Emily Soccorsy:Again, going back to what are you getting out of this?
Emily Soccorsy:How do you notice how you're coming in?
Emily Soccorsy:How do you notice how you're coming out When you step away?
Emily Soccorsy:Are you able to tune?
Emily Soccorsy:To something real.
Emily Soccorsy:And those are the kind of questions that I think we need to ask.
Emily Soccorsy:It's not just about the detox.
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah, do the detox or whatever, but get real with yourself
Emily Soccorsy:about what this is giving you.
Emily Soccorsy:And, another strategy is not to detox, but to pause at the beginning
Emily Soccorsy:of your day and just take a little bit of time to inventory where
Emily Soccorsy:you're at, how you're feeling, and what your truth is for that day.
Emily Soccorsy:that's a good way to stay connected because it's like a swirl.
Emily Soccorsy:It's like a swirl.
Emily Soccorsy:So very easy to be disconnected.
Emily Soccorsy:Um, and I think they want us to be overwhelmed was the big they, But
Emily Soccorsy:the way the technologies are set up and the way social pressure works,
Emily Soccorsy:when we are overwhelmed, then we can be much more pliable.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah, it's really interesting, you know, having lived
Sonya Stattmann:in a few different countries, it's really interesting to uh, to look
Sonya Stattmann:at the cultures as well, right?
Sonya Stattmann:Because in the US there's much more muchness than in Mexico, right?
Sonya Stattmann:So, like when I go back and visit in the US even on vacation, I experience
Sonya Stattmann:more of that, more of the demands, more busyness, more even like financially, like
Sonya Stattmann:more spending, more, like, it's all these things that kind of, you just, you, it's
Sonya Stattmann:easy to go back into the stream, right?
Sonya Stattmann:And all of a sudden you're like, before you know it, it's a week
Sonya Stattmann:later and you're like, Oh my gosh, what's happened this week?
Sonya Stattmann:And then, you know, in a culture like here, It's very family oriented.
Sonya Stattmann:It's very connection oriented, right?
Sonya Stattmann:There's, there's less muchness.
Sonya Stattmann:They do not subscribe to like the busyness or the accolades from busyness.
Sonya Stattmann:Like in fact, a lot of people here who even have businesses, they're like,
Sonya Stattmann:We're done at five, we're going home.
Sonya Stattmann:there's sure, there's lots of opportunity to be open more, There's
Sonya Stattmann:lots of opportunity to make more money, but we're not interested.
Sonya Stattmann:Like there's this really interesting vibe and when you, when you feel that, when
Sonya Stattmann:you experience that, It allows you to, to sort of unpack and understand Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:Like what is it that keeps me in the flow in that sort of default
Sonya Stattmann:and I find being connected to the states in my business, right.
Sonya Stattmann:Even though I'm living my life here, Like it's still hard to, to navigate
Sonya Stattmann:those two worlds and find my place in it.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:It's just, it's really interesting and something to explore.
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah, I think, you know, we, you don't know the water
Emily Soccorsy:you're in, um, until you step out of it.
Emily Soccorsy:And so I spent some time earlier this year in France and I felt that change and I was
Emily Soccorsy:just recently in Mexico for a few days.
Emily Soccorsy:And you feel that change, for you, do you feel more connected
Emily Soccorsy:to yourself in different places
Sonya Stattmann:Mm-hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:when you're like, Tell me, I'm curious for
Emily Soccorsy:you, how does that show up?
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:Well I definitely feel, cuz for me it's really, I feel more
Sonya Stattmann:connected with, to myself when I'm disconnected from the muchness.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:When I'm not on social, when I'm not connected to things
Sonya Stattmann:I have to do when I'm not f.
Sonya Stattmann:Faced outward, That's when I'm more connected to myself, right.
Sonya Stattmann:When I can just be, so like my favorite thing to do is I spend every morning
Sonya Stattmann:going someplace in this city that I live in, which is really beautiful city and.
Sonya Stattmann:I just sit the first like half an hour, I literally just sit.
Sonya Stattmann:I do nothing.
Sonya Stattmann:I drink my coffee.
Sonya Stattmann:I look out the window.
Sonya Stattmann:I look at, you know, it's like I do nothing.
Sonya Stattmann:That's like the beginning of my day and something about that space
Sonya Stattmann:and that nothingness and that being right, it reconnects me to myself
Sonya Stattmann:so that no matter what else I do in the day, I'm more connected.
Sonya Stattmann:If I miss that window, if I miss that piece, if I don't
Sonya Stattmann:start out my day with that.
Sonya Stattmann:Kind of experience.
Sonya Stattmann:I'm, I'm much less connected to myself, so there's something about that space
Sonya Stattmann:and energy, you know, not being pulled.
Sonya Stattmann:But I find that on the days where I have a lot of tasks to do, a lot of
Sonya Stattmann:things I've gotta get done right, I'm much more disconnected to myself.
Sonya Stattmann:Um, and so, That pool that I feel has nothing to do with the city I live in.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:Being out in the city, walking the streets, being out there, there's a slow
Sonya Stattmann:pace, there's a connection, there's a, you know, you say hi to every, you know,
Sonya Stattmann:Buenas Ds to everybody that you meet.
Sonya Stattmann:There's such a lovely connection here that you're, When I'm in my real life, I'm
Sonya Stattmann:able to be in that all the time, but then I find when I'm in the digital world or
Sonya Stattmann:when I have to get back into my business stuff, I can get disconnected again.
Sonya Stattmann:So it's this very, it's something I'm really.
Sonya Stattmann:Prioritizing to explore right now, prioritizing to, to kind
Sonya Stattmann:of self develop because I wanna feel embodied all the time.
Sonya Stattmann:Right?
Sonya Stattmann:All the time.
Sonya Stattmann:And so how can I do that also in my digital world, or how can I do that Also
Sonya Stattmann:in my business, and this is something I've been exploring for a long time, but
Sonya Stattmann:there's a, a more palpable feeling here.
Sonya Stattmann:Being able to, you know, and it took me about, I tell people it took me
Sonya Stattmann:about four months to, to really.
Sonya Stattmann:Let myself be here.
Sonya Stattmann:It took my husband longer.
Sonya Stattmann:He's finally just arriving here in this vibration, which
Sonya Stattmann:has been like seven months.
Sonya Stattmann:Right?
Sonya Stattmann:So there it takes time to unwind from the demands, even the
Sonya Stattmann:perceived demands, It's not that we have to have all these demands.
Sonya Stattmann:We perceive the demands.
Emily Soccorsy:Correct.
Sonya Stattmann:And so being able to like own that you can let go, being able to
Sonya Stattmann:let go, it makes a huge shift in change.
Sonya Stattmann:And that took me about four months.
Emily Soccorsy:Gosh, I love that.
Emily Soccorsy:And that's something I've been trying to do too, like very
Emily Soccorsy:intentional with my morning time, knowing when I need to start, and
Emily Soccorsy:then backing my time out from that.
Emily Soccorsy:So I have.
Emily Soccorsy:Just some breathing room space in the morning to center or sit and do nothing.
Emily Soccorsy:It's so vital.
Sonya Stattmann:Yes.
Emily Soccorsy:Yeah, it's, it really reframes everything.
Emily Soccorsy:And I, I, you, you brought up a good point.
Emily Soccorsy:I think another really helpful practice with the muchness.
Emily Soccorsy:It's that perception of urgency, right?
Emily Soccorsy:It's not that these things are actually that critical,
Sonya Stattmann:mm-hmm.
Emily Soccorsy:the world is set up, so we get sucked in, not only in our minds,
Emily Soccorsy:which are human beings, we're gonna get sucked into our own worlds and our minds.
Emily Soccorsy:But the world today is, To exaggerate that sucking in.
Emily Soccorsy:we are in these little glass bowls, we feel like, and, um, it doesn't
Emily Soccorsy:actually, the most, most stuff doesn't actually matter or go.
Emily Soccorsy:Much further than , you know, an arms length away from us, but we feel like it
Emily Soccorsy:is earth shaking stuff that is happening.
Emily Soccorsy:And so to test that perception, to test whether the muchness is
Emily Soccorsy:actually that urgent, we can ask.
Emily Soccorsy:And I think of, I'm not sure if you're familiar with by Byron Katie, um, but
Emily Soccorsy:her questions around, is this true?
Sonya Stattmann:Mm.
Emily Soccorsy:Just taking a pause to go, Oh my gosh, I'm,
Emily Soccorsy:so, I'm in, uh, I gotta wait.
Emily Soccorsy:Is this true?
Emily Soccorsy:And then asking second question, Is this urgent?
Emily Soccorsy:Is this really urgent?
Emily Soccorsy:is this something I need to respond to or is this something I can just be aware of?
Emily Soccorsy:So I think those three questions can help us kind of filter back a little
Emily Soccorsy:bit from that perceived urgency.
Emily Soccorsy:Is this true?
Emily Soccorsy:Is this urgent?
Emily Soccorsy:Is this something I need to respond to or just be aware of?
Emily Soccorsy:and I do think our society, like the pandemic really made
Emily Soccorsy:us more aware of the muchness.
Emily Soccorsy:And I think what we're seeing now is a reaction to that
Emily Soccorsy:real, that acknowledgement.
Emily Soccorsy:And people choosing to make other decisions, to leave jobs,
Emily Soccorsy:to start something on their own, to, give up perceived stability
Emily Soccorsy:for more freedom or more time for themselves or their families.
Emily Soccorsy:I do think that this, that it is all a reaction to the muchness.
Emily Soccorsy:That's what people are doing.
Emily Soccorsy:And, and that's, I think we gotta look at it.
Emily Soccorsy:You know, we got, we had to face it and, and we were all
Emily Soccorsy:forced to sit in our houses.
Emily Soccorsy:Actually, none of that really matters.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:uh, you know, it's interesting because I think even organizations are starting
Sonya Stattmann:to look at, cuz that's a lot of who I talk to and speak with Right.
Sonya Stattmann:And do workshops with, and I'm seeing the HR teams, , stepping
Sonya Stattmann:up to have to respond.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:And the things I'm teaching are, is that we're in a very new paradigm.
Sonya Stattmann:We can't continue to operate where there's these high demands.
Sonya Stattmann:I mean, the younger generation, many of.
Sonya Stattmann:Just won't put up with it.
Sonya Stattmann:Right?
Sonya Stattmann:They just won't.
Sonya Stattmann:They won't sustain in the way that some of the older generations would.
Sonya Stattmann:But also, everyone wants balance.
Sonya Stattmann:Everyone wants more meaning in their lives.
Sonya Stattmann:Everyone wants to be more connected.
Sonya Stattmann:There's something that's happening, There's great awareness and you
Sonya Stattmann:know, we're all still kind of navigating it and understanding it.
Sonya Stattmann:Maybe we don't have words for it, but I do think there.
Sonya Stattmann:Big change happening in the world and you know, organizations are
Sonya Stattmann:seeing it and know they have to start responding in a different way.
Sonya Stattmann:And, and so I think that's really interesting.
Sonya Stattmann:And I was gonna say too, I love what you said about the questions because
Sonya Stattmann:I think those are so important and things that I ask myself a lot.
Sonya Stattmann:One of the other strategies that really helps me with the muchness is, um, what
Sonya Stattmann:I call bucketing or, Sorting, Right?
Sonya Stattmann:at so often I have this perception of overwhelm.
Sonya Stattmann:As soon as I have more than like 15 things on my to-do list, I just feel overwhelmed.
Sonya Stattmann:And so being able to kind of sort things into, okay, what
Sonya Stattmann:really has to be done this month?
Sonya Stattmann:What really like the only things that are absolutely necessary this
Sonya Stattmann:month, and then everything else can be bucketed to, you know, later.
Sonya Stattmann:I find that.
Sonya Stattmann:With perception.
Sonya Stattmann:Like, it's so funny how in, you know, one hour, at the beginning of that hour, I
Sonya Stattmann:can feel so overwhelmed and like, there's too much and there's so many demands.
Sonya Stattmann:There's so much.
Sonya Stattmann:And then as I bucket, I all of a sudden feel like, wow, I don't really have that
Sonya Stattmann:much on, Like, it's good I have space.
Sonya Stattmann:Right.
Sonya Stattmann:It's a, it's such a shift in change and sometimes these little sort of strategies
Sonya Stattmann:help us navigate the muchness in a way that, you know, We feel space, because
Sonya Stattmann:when I feel space, I get a lot more done.
Sonya Stattmann:I'm a lot happier, I'm a lot more connected.
Sonya Stattmann:You know, I'm not running from place to place.
Sonya Stattmann:I actually feel like I'm bringing myself from place to place,
Emily Soccorsy:And you enjoy it more.
Emily Soccorsy:You know, I think that's a lot for me.
Emily Soccorsy:Get so busy.
Emily Soccorsy:I forget that.
Emily Soccorsy:I enjoy when I do
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Emily Soccorsy:and I forget strategies for like, how I enjoy
Emily Soccorsy:it, especially after the pandemic when my business began running, you
Emily Soccorsy:know, like all of ours virtually.
Emily Soccorsy:And being in that mode, I've recently, like, oh my gosh, I, I need to
Emily Soccorsy:see people at least once a week because it's, And I wanna have fun.
Emily Soccorsy:As I'm doing this work, it's not just about completing the tasks or showing
Emily Soccorsy:up for the Zoom, it's about this sense of joy that I have when I can sit in
Emily Soccorsy:a room and collaborate with one of my colleagues or meet face to face with
Emily Soccorsy:a client, just to check in with them.
Emily Soccorsy:And those are things we had to seed for our own safety.
Emily Soccorsy:But when we bring them back in the ways that are meaningful to us, I
Emily Soccorsy:think the, the payoff is joy, is joy and enjoyment, and I really think that
Emily Soccorsy:was something that, you know, we gave up a lot of, and then we were taught
Emily Soccorsy:to fear it, which just, it broke my heart then it still breaks my heart
Emily Soccorsy:now that our ability to, to be with other people was, was so threatening.
Emily Soccorsy:Oh, just, And we, but we've come through that and we, we need to
Emily Soccorsy:shake off the, the remnants of that mindset in order to, to reconnect.
Sonya Stattmann:Yes.
Sonya Stattmann:I I love what you said, cuz you know, we, we kind of have to wrap up, which I
Sonya Stattmann:hate because I love this conversation.
Sonya Stattmann:But, you know, I think there's something really significant, you
Sonya Stattmann:know, navigating the muchness, right?
Sonya Stattmann:There's something really significant in what you said that it's about.
Sonya Stattmann:How we deal with it in, in a meaningful way.
Sonya Stattmann:It's what, what things mean to us.
Sonya Stattmann:It's bringing that meaning back.
Sonya Stattmann:So when we look at our to-do list, what really matters, what doesn't matter,
Sonya Stattmann:when we, we look at how we interact with people, whether online or in person,
Sonya Stattmann:what really matters, what's meaningful, I think that what's meaningful question is
Sonya Stattmann:also very important when we're navigating this topic because, If we start to sort
Sonya Stattmann:out what's meaningful from what's not, a lot of things drop off the to-do list.
Sonya Stattmann:A lot of the muchness shrinks, , right?
Sonya Stattmann:And so we're able to more effectively and deliberately create the life that we want.
Emily Soccorsy:Right, right.
Emily Soccorsy:In Phoenix we get these huge dust storms and they're called haboob
Emily Soccorsy:and they, they tumble across the valley and they are a gigantic.
Emily Soccorsy:If you've never seen one, you should look it up.
Emily Soccorsy:they're a gigantic cloud, but it looks like a monster kind of eating you.
Emily Soccorsy:so as it comes toward wherever you are.
Emily Soccorsy:You realize it's blowing, dusted wind, and so it's not actually going to devour you.
Emily Soccorsy:And that's really what the muchness is.
Emily Soccorsy:I sort of, I'm a very visual person, so I kind of think of that like it feels
Emily Soccorsy:that way, but then we have a chance to, again, to your point, shrink it down
Emily Soccorsy:to the size that it is and to push it back and to say, Okay, it's just, it's
Emily Soccorsy:blowing dust and wind and it's gonna pass and I only need to be thinking.
Emily Soccorsy:Focused on these pieces and the rest is, is just, it's not worthy of my
Emily Soccorsy:attention, emotional state energy.
Emily Soccorsy:and so yeah, I think absolutely , we need to name it, we need to feel
Emily Soccorsy:it when and understand what that feels like, and then be able to step
Emily Soccorsy:back and, and say, No, actually, it's, it's a four instead of a 10.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:I love that.
Sonya Stattmann:Well, thank you so much for this topic and for joining me today because this
Sonya Stattmann:was a really beautiful, you know, pathway to understanding, I think what a lot of
Sonya Stattmann:us are dealing with on a daily basis.
Sonya Stattmann:So any last thoughts or things that you would like to share
Sonya Stattmann:with the audience before we end?
Emily Soccorsy:I would just encourage everyone to be just maybe
Emily Soccorsy:be a little bit mindful in, in the next week if you'd, if you'd like
Emily Soccorsy:to kind of dive deeper into this.
Emily Soccorsy:just be mindful about those moments.
Emily Soccorsy:When you feel overwhelmed, maybe ask yourself, is it true?
Emily Soccorsy:Is it.
Emily Soccorsy:Urgent, is it something I would need to be responding to or just be aware of?
Emily Soccorsy:So just try, maybe play with some of those questions and um, as ever,
Emily Soccorsy:reach out if you have any thoughts or, wanna add to the conversation.
Sonya Stattmann:Yeah.
Sonya Stattmann:I love that.
Sonya Stattmann:All right.
Sonya Stattmann:Thank you all for joining us, and we will see you next week.
Emily Soccorsy:Hey, it's Emily.
Emily Soccorsy:I hope something from our conversation today inspired you.
Emily Soccorsy:And if you find yourself curious about my work about intrinsic branding or
Emily Soccorsy:about Root and River, I invite you to head over to rootandriver.com where
Emily Soccorsy:you can sign up for our newsletter, or you can read some of our free content.
